IN OOOOOOKLAHOOOMA!

~MAYhem~

2007-05-11T16:20:00.000-07:00

Look at the title! Get it! Get!! Pretty punny ain't it? That's what working 40 hours a week alone in a room with only a computer and a paper shredder does to you. It kills a lil bit of you every day and pays you $6.15 an hour to do it. It seems it's taking down my sense of humour for starters. Soon I will be but an empty shell. A shadow of the man I used to be. People will look at me and say "I used to know that guy. He used to be so full of life now...it just pains me to look at him". But I will be able to sort that trip down to the UK just that lil bit sooner won't I?

I always told myself that I'd never work a deskjob in my life. Ironic ain't it? Especially after watching The Office(the UK edition. not that pantsy sugar coated American shit) and Office Space. One day...I will destroy that annoying paper shredder. And the paper folder that took a swipe at my already destroyed knee. And that bitch who talks to me real nice when she needs my help and then rats me out to the boss when I use MSN. They keep pushing me. They forget, that I'm Asian. And when Asians get angry, they gun 33 people down. Well, that Korean dude was mediocre at best. With a lil more planning, I could do double...eaaaseeeeee *rubs hands in glee*

So yes, April was a month of a lot questions and very few answers. A lot of rough rides in class and all making me wonder if I'm doing the right thing in uni. Yet it seems that giving up now while easier just sets up to give up many more things later in life. And there were also so more testing issues on the emotional end. Funny how that should also be the thing that's brought me the most joy since. Guess God would have it that there'll always be something or someone to help you get by.

So the other day I was talking to my dad and he was telling me how Telekom is being bought over by a multinational coz they're haemorrhaging money. And I was thinking...where exactly is Malaysia heading. You hold a near complete monopoly on the groundline and internet service provided in the entire nation, and you still manage to fuck things up? I

I've a friend over here from Georgia(like that lil country, not that state) and we discuss politics pretty often between filing papers and creating email lists. And here's a guy who really cares about his country. True nationalistic pride. But of course, look at their flag!

It's like England but more Jesus Christ-y

But that aside. He's really proud of his roots. That Georgia achieved civilization well before Russia and all. Essentially, he's not too pleased with Russia. But then again, honestly, who is? And I was thinking...what's really endearing about my country. Other than the great food, pirated DVDs and other fake shitl. And I realize, that if it weren't for the fact I have loved ones there, I really wouldn't give a rat's ass about it. Some things about it are enchanting. Like the nice beaches and haze. The worst part is, the haze isn't even our's.

Yet somehow, every time I read www.thestar.com.my, I just find something really retarded happening over there. True, newspapers love to put the scandalous shit on the front page yet anyone who's been reading the papers for a long time will tell you, it's just gotten way way more frequent than before. I dunno, maybe coz Mahathir isn't there to cover anyone's ass anymore maybe? Has the proverbial, shit really hit the fan? But whatever it is, every day it's either some corporate scandal involving some partly government owned entity, more racial tensions or just more crime as whole. Then I began to think, what would I do different if I were running that country. Some ideas from Nik Aziz did come to mind. Our beloved PAS leader once said "If I win the election, I'll sell Malaysia off". Stunning stuff to say pre-election. No wonder BN doesn't need to rig the election to win(unlike some notable leaders before). But they do it anyway from time to time.

In some way or another, a country cannot expect to remain very competitive when the protectionism it offers is purely racial. I'm not a racist. Contrary to many of the jokes I've been heard cracking. There's a big deal going on in the US about the use of the word "nigger". Seen as being degrading to African Americans if you will. Yet the other day I read something that perhaps seems to really explain what that word means even though the Oxford Dictionary says it's an offensive reference to a black person. Really, what a nigger is if you ask me, is someone who just sits on their ass, bitching about their luck, wallowing in self pity and expecting someone to give em shit coz of some misgivings before. If you agree with that definition, then really there are niggers everywhere. There's no way I can be politically correct about this but if you notice, the people guilty of such acts do usually happen to be the indigenous folk of any nation. It's always "This is my land, you took it from me coz I was too high or some shit...so yeah, you owe me!". This is purely a case of being objective here. I can't say enough that I'm not in fact racist.

*The percentages that follow indicate the percentage of the total population these ethnicities make up*

So NZ seems to do fine with their Maoris (14.6%). Australia does okay with the Aborigines (2.2%). The US does okay with the Native Americans (0.009%) and all (12.12%)*. So why is Malaysia different? Now here's the difference. Everywhere else in the world, the natives are actually a minority. Either coz they didn't reproduce fast enough or they just got killed a lot. But what happens when the people who're asking to be pampered happen to

* percentage of African Americans in the nation. Hardly indigenous, hence the lack of a direct reference

1) Run the government
2) Be royalty
3) Be the majority (52-60%)

So elsewhere it's a case of a lot of money going to a few people. But here it's a lot of money going to a lot of people. Doesn't that add up to even more money?

One may argue that yes, it is to allow the race to grow and progress. To facilitate their education. And yes, that is necessary. But perhaps these rights should be endowed on the poor and the needy rather than as a race as a whole. It's no secret that the rich Bumis are buying up the properties with their 5% of everybody else's price and oh so low interest rate loans. They also seem to get quite some of the government scholarships too. But of course, merit wise they deserve it(not when compared to the rest of us though) yet, it just widens the financial gap that it was meant to close. There should be any favouritism when choosing who gets a contract or who should lead a company is preposterous. Whoever can get the job done at the most competitive price should be the one to do it. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Perhaps they should impose a law like, if your family's income is more than RM50k annually post tax you're not getting jack fucking shit from us. You pay regular prices and you compete with the rest of the races. Protection in this sense should only be allowed to those who need it, not anyone who knows how to get it. I'll be the first one to tell you that if there's a loophole, exploit it. Well, maybe someone oughta sort that loophole out. That the fate and potential of an entire country should be jeopardized so a select bunch can have it easier is just...beyond me.

These ideas are all flat out idealistic of course. Lord knows the only way something like this would ever happen would be if the country should spiral into sheer anarchy. When we have some Indonesia style riots. When the greed and mismanagement of a few end up costing the lives of many and the pride of a nation. When the minority races are persecuted. When the majority is split and fights each other. There's no saying the country won't get taken over and run by some douche and things might get worse amidst this civil unrest. In fact, it would open the way for a lot of foreign to influence the runnings of the country. I do honestly feel our country is in a collision course with such a fate. It's the kind of thing you see in movies and read or hear about in Haiti or some shit. It's a lot scarier when it's closer to home. When people you know and care about can actually get hurt, it suddenly seems a lot clearer. Perhaps I'm the only who thinks so. I'm not the only who one thinks and knows this the problem the nation faces. But what can we do we're not:

1) Running the government
2) Royalty
3) The majority

Perhaps it'll be too late when we are allowed in for real.

Harold

April's post!

2007-04-28T21:00:00.000-07:00

For those of you who've been coming by my blog every now and again to see if there are new posts, in particular the one for the month of April, I wanna thank you coz really if no one cared to read them maybe I wouldn't care to write them. April has been a big month for me really. Some important decisions and life changing moments and all that so yeah, it's been pretty busy. However, this is as much as you'll read this month. My finals are coming up from the 30th till the 3rd so I wanna get to that first. When I'm done I promise I will put something interesting up for those who give a rat's ass what's on here.

Your's,
Harold

~Not Much in March~

2007-03-30T18:29:00.000-07:00

Look at the title. What a play on words! Humour me. Just barely making it into the end of the month to finally post an update actually quite contradicts the title. A flurry of projects, homework and a spring break week that flew by in a hurry all make for a variety of things that while perhaps meaningful for me, is perhaps not worth much mention here....except maybe for my pilgrimage over spring break.

Yes, for a young guitarist such as myself, not many events mean more than to have witnessed a G3, live! For those who aren't aware of what G3 is, essentially its a concert in which Joe Satriani and Steve Vai (typically, not this time) invite another guitar great to tour with them which culminates in the G3 jam where all 3 come on stage and play some rock favourites while improvising. Truly amazing. Great music, the virtuosity and a pretty cool crowd. For all aspiring performers, it doesn't get much better. Particularly with this year's lineup. 3 of the 4 most important guitarists as far as I'm concerned all at once. What luck!

Joe Satriani + Paul Gilbert + John Petrucci = Ownage
(Doesn't it sound like something a real cina beng would say?)

As my master drummer and all round favourite guy Ken Inn pointed out, the only time you can say just about any stupid random shit and not worry about it is if you're a rockstar. James Hetfield of Metallica demonstrated it with his various quips such as "How do you do, man?" and "Did you hear the one about the rock band who wanted to perform with the orchestra. *Cue sarcastic retarded laughter*". Both of which resulted with the crowd going wild. Even saying shit like "We know you're all crazy mother fuckers!" works as well. Super indeed.

Rock concerts almost seem to have a close to pseudo religious effect. Where the rockers are the Gods and the fans are the all obeying and fearing worshippers. It's the only time you can yell really retarded shit like "I'll do youuuurrr muuuummmm!!!" and people would just gobble it up anyway. The best job in the world? Indeed, as Billy Mack of Love Actually said "Don't buy drugs kids, coz when you become a rockstar, they'll give it to you for free". And the best part about being a rockstar is you don't need to be smart or even very good to be famous. Just ask Ozzy Osbourne. What a guy. He was a lousy burglar who was persistently caught, so he decided to become a rockstar. Usually it's the ones who fail as rockstars that become burglars, but such is life. And the rest of us who are "smarter" end up in a terrible rat race where your contributions go by anonymously and you live from paycheck to paycheck and actually have to save up for shit. Amazing. Guess being the smarter doesn't always pay eh?

Which is pretty depressing when you think about it. All the years of toiling, working hard, good grades and all to be in line like everyone else. Does destiny indeed exist then? Is it the binding factor the holds preparation, opportunity and luck all at once together to ultimately allow success to happen? Surely I've discussed this before, but when you're not too far away from finishing university and going out into the "real world". We've all dreamed of making a difference. Going out there and inventing something. Showing up on the cover of TIME and marrying a centerfold. How cool would it be to be branded, "MAN OF THE YEAR". It's the ultimate testosterone charged dream. Having a really long dick might make you "MAN OF THIS MOMENT WHEN YOU'RE GETTING LAID OR NUDE IN THE GYM SHOWER WITH MANY OTHER MEN IN FULL PLAIN VIEW OF YOUR GLORY". But come on, seriously...we're Asian... =D

The unknowns that the real world bring are indeed sometimes petrifying. But surely, letting the fear of tomorrow stop you from making the most of today is rather unwise. Not to mention, regretting yesterday's mistakes perpetually, spoils today and the day after (assuming said mistakes can't be fixed). Now while those 2 are mine, one piece of advice I'd like to share that really stands out for all who are insecure about who they are from Dr. Seuss "Be yourself for those who mind don't matter and those who matter, don't mind". We learn a little more each day.

At the end of all of this, I wish to share with you, the single most important thing that I had the pleasure of seeing this month. No, it's not a nude chick, sorry guys. I feel compelled to share with you a video of unspeakable awesomeness. Enjoy!

Harold
Now listening to: B grade movie softcore porno-like saxophone music by Jim Tomlinson.

Harold

Life's iterations and recursions

2007-02-10T11:33:00.000-08:00

Iteration: Perform or utter repeatedly - Concise Oxford Dictionary

Recursion: The repeated application of a procedure or rule to successive results of the process - Concise Oxford Dictionary

Life: The opposite of death- Harold

As always, I have about a post a month. This one's 2 days late. It's not like I really plan these things. Maybe my desire to blog is hormonal. Maybe I'm actually...a woman! I mean...I cook pretty well, clean, seem to be able to communicate my feelings effectively, always think I'm right and drive badly (well I don't really...I mean I don't drive badly, not that I don't drive). Surely there are some grounds for worry here.

Maybe I haven't blogged in a while coz I haven't got a new guitar to blog about or some trivial shit. But to each his own. So what's up with iterations and recursions? Those familiar with computer programming to some slightly above elementary level will know exactly what I'm talking about. Algorithms for solving mathematical equations or any issue of sort in computers can be divided into the 2. The definitions should be indicative of how they work. For any set of problems, it is conceivably possible to figure out a solution in each manner. Generally, iteration equates to trial and error and recursion equates to breaking the problem down to smaller parts and then figuring a method for said smaller problem and then using it over and over again to solve the sum of the parts.

So I began to ask myself, was life much the same as writing a program. Aside from the rules we are bound to, I began to wonder if there was some relevance to how we solved problems on a daily basis. Perhaps, life is a sum of iterations and recursions. We try and fail till we get something right and use it again and again to varying magnitudes to address the situations we face. That is we figure something out iteratively and use it recursively. Or maybe we figure something out and then apply it via trial and error to see if it does work well.

As with programming, iterations can be time and resource consuming and recursions can just be much the same. What do I mean? If something can be figured out via trial and error rather easily right off the bat, wouldn't it make more sense to do so than to try and analyze and break it down before trying?

So when do we apply what? What's the balance of both to which things are optimal? To be honest, I believe these things affect what we make of ourselves. It separates the rich from the poor. The confident from the insecure. The predator and the prey. Hard worker and smart worker.

Could it be that some of us are inherently just better at figuring these things out than others? So maybe we aren't all equal. Perhaps in the grand scheme of it all there are some people who are out there to figure stuff out so the rest of us don't have to. What do I mean? Like you might ask Einstein for advice on physics but probably not on relationships. Perhaps experiencing something for yourself is the best teacher...if you survive it. But if you can learn while someone else feels or felt the pain, even better! Figuring out which method is the best to use is not something you can learn from a book. Either you get it or you don't. It's the same with programming. Experience helps though.

Perhaps the message I'm trying to convey here is to not let pride get in the way of how we make our lives. Perhaps some of us are too guarded for the fear of being wrong and mocked. We either repeat our trials and failures or spend an eternity trying to figure something out when someone else out there might already have done it and is willing to help. No one argues that you shouldn't figure things out for yourself when you can. Just maybe there are some of us built for figuring some things out better than others. I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't dismiss people too soon, they might hold the answers to what you seek.

Harold
Song of the moment: Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer

New Year

2007-01-08T13:16:00.000-08:00

Firstly, a belated Happy New Year to all those who stop by here. If I didn't SMS you to wish you, I either didn't have your number or was too drunk to remember to message you or I just didn't give a shit.

So 2006 has been wrapped up put under the Christmas tree, opened up, then stuck into a ball and dropped down Madison Square Garden magically turning into 2007. So 2006 was a pretty big year for me mostly due to the fact that I left the country only to return 4 months later. But still, it's like losing your virginity. Once you go all the way it's all different...at least as far as people can tell...but it's quite hard to tell isn't it? Hard falls and stuff do tend to mess things up. ANYWAY!

3 weeks in KL left me with a taste for more. I love it here in Oklahoma of course but somehow being in KL...I gotta admit, life there is just too easy. Food everywhere, futsal, jamming, DOTA, more food and then all that senseless going out...and the drinking. Oh yes! The drinking. None of that shit over here with the drinking age being 21 and all. But I think I killed enough brain cells and destroyed enough of my liver in the 2 drinking sessions I had over in KL. Which leads me to recommending a very good movie for everyone to watch.

Now I know many of you have probably seen posters of this movie and all and thought it's not worth any of your short life watching it. But "The Descent" is actually pretty good. I swear, it might take some of the world's finest vodka using French winter wheat from the south of Paris to make it go down a lil easier. Now, for PK and CS who watched the movie with me, if you must know, I picked that movie coz every other movie we picked before that at least one of us had watched it before. Especially PK. You go to the cinema far too often. So "The Descent" was a movie I was sure no one watched before because it was supposed to be so fucking bad. Well, if you're going to watch it because you're expecting a horror movie, you're gonna be disappointed. If you wanted a gore fest, you're better off watching The Hostel. But if you just wanted an excuse to use your projector at home and drink some Grey Goose, my god does this movie do it for you. Alcohol diminishes your ability to maintain coherence and thought. Fact. The Descent has neither of those 2. Fact. If anything, you can play stupid drinking games to the movie. Like everyone takes a shot/sip every time a chick screams or moans. We sorta abandoned that idea after we found out that Grey Goose kills. I'd buy all USD35 of it again and again. It's just the most potent shit bar rotgut maybe. 3 small cups did to me what all the shit in Lang Tengah couldn't. I was seeing double for the first due to something other than dehydration. It also made me notice that the cunning camera work in "The Descent" probably allowed the producers to slash costs. Most of the film is in a cave so yeah, not much lighting. By cleverly spazzing out the camera angles, the girls and the "thousands of man eaters" actually look kinda alike. Now the show would've been exciting if it had been about a few guys going down the cave and there were a different type of "thousands of man eaters". For those who catch what I'm saying, you know that'd be an awesome movie. For those who don't, you're not old enough to watch "The Descent". Did I mention the man eaters in the movie looked a shit lot like the orcs from LOTR and moved like Gollum? Discount priced rights I guess.

The next drinking session was on New Year's eve. This time there was an encounter with 42 Below Feijoa vodka, Jagermeister and the piss that is Absolut Vodka. Big thanks to my man David for hosting the party and getting the drinks as well as having room for all of us to pass out. It was one of those New Year's parties that never quite happened coz everyone had too much to drink. Like how people only realized it was New Year's when I looked at my watch and it showed 0:04, 1/1/07. So yeah, at least we were only 4 minutes behind the game. But it was all good, even with my mates puking and falling asleep. Still good!

It was great being able to see everyone back in KL. My family, friends and the odd someone who means a lot to me. So yeah, leaving again was met with a tinge of melancholy. Somehow the 2nd time leaving was worse than the first time. I guess I'm a lil slow on these things. I had to go to the US, live some time there then come back to realise what I didn't have there. I didn't the first time. Which makes me reckon I might be missing a few necessary synapses. So on with the long flight to LA and the over the top security checkpoints. Thank goodness I decided this wasn't the time for a shoe bomb. Next time maybe. Man, they even swabbed my guitar pedal bag for potentially explosive powder residue. Maybe I've got the terrorist look. At least my kids will be the bomb. Get it? Get it? Oh come on...

Makes me wonder if they had the dogs sniff my boxers. Next time I'll leave a few unwashed ones in there for the suckers. As if my planned journey wasn't long enough, the line at Customs and Border Protection was so friggin long(in no small part due to the huge influx "I speakr no Engrish" mainland China fellas who don't know what the officer is saying and find it tough providing the right paperwork, I ended up missing my flight to Oklahoma. Thankfully the airline people were feeling good so they exchanged my ticket for free. Too bad the flight was at 6am...the next day. At least they paid for the night at the hotel. Not a bad place too. Had a nice room with a king sized bed all to myself. It's one of those nice quaint cozy places that makes you wish you had someone to share it with. And I didn't mean like a hooker or something. So not much sleep gotten there and having to wake up at like 2.45am to check out, have breakfast, get on the shuttle to the airport and join another long line to get checked into your next flight. LA was a pretty nice place though, what little I saw of it. Great weather and all. Colorado looked real nice too. All 34 minutes of I saw between flights. Probably should drop by those places again sometime for a visit.

So that was it. 2006 came and went. I've learnt some things along the way.

1) I've got great family and friends
2) Grey Goose and 42 Below are the 2 baddest assest vodkas out there
3) Make sure you have at least 5 or 6 hours between the time you land in an airport and your next departure.
4) Exactly the number of minutes past midnight it took for us to realize it was New Years day, exactly the number of months it took me to realize what I left behind in KL and exactly the number of hours that I had between my flights at LA which still wasn't enough
5) Sometimes the way you feel never really changes

Once again, may the new year bring many tears (of joy), shrieks (of delight), cries (of war) and pain(of...gain?)

Cheers,
Harold

Strange sights

2006-12-07T20:41:00.000-08:00

Being in the US has made me notice that these guys have all kinds of really well...strange things sometimes. I unfortunately do not have a camera phone and hence can't get even half of them to show y'all. In fact, I spotted a lot of these funny things in M'sia too. Too bad my phone got stolen...twice. Fuck. I did manage to get some of them off my phone though. So this is them and then some new ones from the US of A for make benefit glorious nation of Malaysia =)

Ahh, the college memories

GREASE BULLET BABY!! WITH A NAME LIKE THAT WHO WOULDN'T GET RACY AND WANNA TAKE ONE UP THE...oh never mind. 12 tablets to kill the pain and remember, No Scrubbing!

I've always been a big fan of racial equality...I mean seriously. I know some races generally are dumber than the others but come on, doesn't mean they shouldn't be fed and taken care off right? If we kill em off, there's less joy in the world as we have one less thing to laugh at!

HOHO-HOME BOY!

This one was spotted at the hardware store near my house. It's an 8 feet tall inflatable Santa who's consumption of hot chocolate has taken a toll on his melanin count.

So many people have asked what race God was. If you believe South Park then the Jews worship a giant talking dreidel. If you believe the bible, then God is most definitely a white Jew. Or was he? If you listened carefully to the Youtube video of me doing the snow angel, there's a point where you can hear me say that God lives in Asia as he seems to have made it look like December when it was November 30th. So one would naturally assume it was already December where he was and just decided to cast his will all at once.

So this is the nativity scene as we know it. The 3 wise men, Mary, Joseph and lil baby Jesus all looking rather pale skinned.

This is the nativity as sold by Belk's departmental store as ornaments.

I KNEW IT! JESUS AND ALL OF THE JEWS WERE BLACK! God damn Nazis and the KKK killed em' all and rewrote the Torah and the Bible!! It's a conspiracy!! Where's the affirmative action!?!!?? Guess that makes me a Nazi too right?
"High Five!" - Borat

So that's it for now. See the lot of you in M'sia soon!

Harold

~HOLY!!~

2006-11-30T21:26:00.000-08:00

-Please read the previous post first-

So 2 posts in the same day when usually you get one in a month. What occasion would be deserving of such recognition? Well, as you know, today's a big day for me coz it's the first time I'm seeing snow and I love it. I took a nap a few hours later those pictures in the last post were taken and awoke to much joy. MUCH FUCKING MORE SNOW!! WOOOOHOOOO!!!

In the earlier pictures, there was barely an inch of snow. As it seems now, it's about 2 feet and rising at some parts of the house. My brother's car is only half visible now. I'm an optimist so I didn't wanna say half invisible. I was elated!! Much more fun for me! My bro loves snow too, so!

Same gear, same guys, different time, more snow!

My bro's fiancé isn't usually the sporting one in the house. Mostly coz my bro and I are pretty nuts. However, seeing us have all that fun and all that snow surely shorted a few circuits for her too!

The sand was so white it looked like snow. Honest!

Awesome indeed! I only wish I had my mates here to have all this fun with me too! Life is great! More exclamation marks!!!!

In any case, I thought that was enough for one day but those who know me well enough know I often take things too far. I assure you, that hasn't changed one bit. Ever one to impress, I present to you:

Pardon my brother. He's a bit wack. So unlike me =D

Have a brilliant December!
Harold

~In Snoooowklahoma!~

2006-11-30T07:47:00.000-08:00

Get it? Get it? Great title huh? Ah fuck. Anyways, it's snowing today. Quite heavily at that. And the best part is, class has been canceled coz of it! I had a ComScience test which I could've taken anyway but who cares! No test! So yes, big moment for me coz I've never seen snow before in my life. It's one thing to see it on the ground its another to actually see it fall from the sky. I get both! So I decided to put up some picture for the lot of y'all out there.

The beautiful juxtaposition. Autumn leaves and winter snow
As you can see, it was snowing hard. Crazy inconsiderate dog walking an old lady

So it's 20 degrees Fahrenheit out there which roughly equates to -6.7 degrees Celsius for all my metric chums. That brings us to a question. What happens when you have 2 cold loving Yap brother's on a snowy day?

That's right beaches! Board shorts, sandals and no shirt!

Don't mind the pun. The snow even given us some additional nipples. Wicked! If all goes well, I'll be making a snow angel in the same clothing or the lack of it later tonight when there's more snow. My bro should be making a video of it. Don't look at me like I'm crazy. We can't exactly go out of the house so we gotta do something right? I'd be crazy if I didn't. Would be un-Harold-like if I didn't.

I'll be back in Malaysia in 18 days. So see the lot of you who'll be back then soon!

Cheers,
Harold
p/s: I couldn't feel my toes at the end of it!

~Nearly a month~

2006-11-03T15:14:00.000-08:00

So yeah, been nearly a month since the last blog update so I figured I'd put something up. It's gonna be a mix of stuff. Mostly with some stupid lil things I've been up to over here and stuff.
I figured since a picture says a thousand words, putting more than 4 pictures in 1 post would make it far too long-winded and mind numbingly familiar to a research article. But we all know that's bullcrap, so I'm gonna put a few pictures up and talk about some random crap.

First things first, I've been shopping at Walmart of late and always sign the bill off to my credit card. I often use the self checkout counter and the cool thing is, after you're done with signing the touch panel, the printout includes you're signature at the end of it as well. So, those who've seen my signature, know it's hideous. Now, try doing it on an 8 bit touch screen something out of Windows 3.1 Paintbrush. More hideous no? So what's worse than my signature. It's my drawing. It's fucking atrocious. Those who've seen me in action before and lived to tell the tale will agree. So, why am I saying this? Well

So yeah, as you can tell...I won't be winning squat at any pre school drawing competitions. But hey! It's just something I figured I'd try. As you can see, I've folded the receipt coz I sure don't need you guys knowing how many ~~Condoms~~ water balloons as well as the size and brand of sanitary ~~pads~~ paper towels I use. These are very personal things. I enjoy getting wet and wiping my self off when I'm done. Oh man, that was so poorly phrased. The thing on the left in that drawing was supposed to be a regular stick figure man, but he came out a tripod, the middle thing was supposed to be a tree but it now looks like a poor illustration of a nuclear mushroom and the thing on the right was supposed to be the sun but it looks like someone shaved their scrotum leaving some stubble for effect. The lil line there was supposed to be a bird, but it looks more like I dragged the pen by accident. This is why I'm doing engineering instead.

So yeah, that's the kind of shit I do when I get bored. Beats getting smashed and waking up the next day with a carrot up your ass...not that I've tried that, but seriously....I mean, seriously I haven't tried that and seriously, signing stupid shit is more fun. D'oooh!

Well, in light of other things, for those who might've forgotten how I look or are trying to forget how I look, I've decided to put a recent pic of myself to ruin your shit...lil bastards y'all. So yeah, guy on the left is obviously me and the guy on the right is also me just 8 years older through digital enhancement. I don't get why they call it enhancement when it makes me look worse. My bro's gonna fuck me up for that comment. But yeah, that's my bro and well, I can say I'm very glad to be here with him. He's a barrel of fun for most parts, a prick most of the other times (sound familiar?) and has this retardedly infectious laughter (deja vu?) So yeah, you know he's my brother.

Check out the wicked shirt. Got it for free, costs like USD25 or some shit but it wound up in a box of clothes my bro had somehow. No, it wasn't a hand-me-down from the welfare department. It's way too cool and it can actually be worn. That alone should say enough. Some of you might notice that maybe I do look a lil slimmer. Well, I have lost close to 6 kgs since I got here. Well, being busy with stuff and not eating can do that to you. Just a lil hint to all the 'pork chops' looking for some advice on how to be less...pork-chop-ish.

Ever seen Malaysian football hooligans? As in maybe say, Malaysian Liverpool fans after a Liverpool victory? I tell you, all that beer or the lack of it and the sheer ecstasy can drive you to the point of retardation and no return. Or maybe it was just us at Halloween and we were too fucking cheap to get costumes.

(Who needs masks when you can do shit like that with your face?)

And now, on to the topic I initially wanted to discuss. Well, the upcoming Senate elections are coming up where 33 of the 100 seats are being contested and I felt in the mood to say a lil something about American Politics. Well, not American Politics itself but just something closely related. I'm gonna give you some clues as a buildup to what I was gonna talk a bit about.

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully"

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."

"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating"

"You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on."

"Most imports are from outside of the country

"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee...that says, fool me
once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me...you can't get fooled again."

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

"I admit, I am not one of the great linguists."

"They misunderestimated me."

Guess who said these things? (Hint: Only one person. He's from Texas. Surname rhymes with Wush)

For those who couldn't get it...it's ok. Surely knowledge of his existence is largely esoteric. But anyway! Yes, it's my President, George W. Bush. Sure I didn't fuckin vote for him, but I'm in the US now, so he's still my president. Looking at those quotes might say that he isn't the brightest spark of em...or maybe he's just not so good with words. At least he was honest about it. Meh. In any case, he beat John Kerry last time round and back then I was kinda peeved coz I wanted Kerry to win. Well, not so much for Kerry to win, just not let Bush get a 2nd term. But in the end, I realised it was Dumbledee vs Dumbledoo back in that election. Anyone who knows what Sen. Kerry has said recently about the connection between not doing well in school and serving in Iraq and the consequent apology and the apology for the apology will know what I mean. The American voters were not spoilt for choice now that I've studied their policies. For once being Singaporean was good. At least you didn't have to choose your Prime Minister. They do it for you. Usually involves being involved in the People's Action Party and maybe having the first name Lee helps too. But these are just informal requirements. Just like how being a white male helps when you wanna be president of the United States. I mean, only like...all 43 of them were white males right? Surely that's just pure coincidence.

But really, I've begin to wonder whether George W. Bush(GWB: All your no fly zone are belong to us) is really that retarded, a poor liar, or just a genius. Why? Okay, for one thing, he's a retarded student. C student in Yale. Daddy can help. So that might justify case one. Some say when he was Governor of Texas, he was pretty good. Makes you wonder whether trying so hard to lie and cover stuff up convolutes the words in his mind. He does OK when he reads directly out of his prepared speeches though he reads at about the 4th grade level. Or maybe...he's just been absoufuckinlutely brilliant. Maybe some of the screw ups were unintentional. But surely, he's said too many funny things. Not sure how many of you people realize it, but GWB definitely makes less public addresses than say Ronald Reagan. Maybe coz he realizes he actually does suck balls at it. Or maybe, he says these dumb things to sidetrack people's thoughts and arguments. A lot of the criticism leveled at the man are that of how he looks and the stupid things he says. More often than not, people forget the policies he's been pushing for and leave them be and well..."misunderestimate" him as he's the village idiot. It's very likely that this might just be a fine case of good politicking on his part. His senior adviser is only Karl Rove anyway.

(Karl Rove portrayed on Family Guy as the amoral puppet master behind GWB)

He's only like the most shrewd and heartless political adviser who would bug his own office and blame someone else for doing so he could gain votes. Gotta love it, just doing what it takes! I'm just speculating here. The Republicans are basically handing the next Presidential election and the Senate to the Democrats. But don't underestimate the Democrat's ability to blast over from a yard out in front of an open goal. Those retards. If you notice, the Democrats are always trying to gun at the Republican policies. But if you also notice, they never offer any better options if they even offer an option to begin with. They name call. That's it! As you can see, because they can't offer better solutions to his policies, they take personal swipes are the President. This makes them seem useless and immature! So GWB is taking the mickey on this one for the sake of his mates. And the cunning plan of being the village idiot is working to his and the Republicans advantage! Who cares if people call you stupid if you're still controlling both houses and have the President as well eh?

Well, just a lil musing and some food for thought for all my starving readers. Yes, I'm full of myself, I know how much you guys enjoy this =D I tell myself this because I get lonely here and need to make myself feel better. Just kidding. Hope all of you are doing swell over there wherever the fuck you may be. Oh, and whoever Anon is...she's more than welcome to use my chatterbox. I'm pretty sure it's not a guy and I haven't met any disgusting/oversized/disgustingly oversized women to whom I've spoken about John Petrucci to or even introduced myself. So yeah, the sweetness is welcomed.

Peace!
Harold

~Words for lunch

2006-10-07T11:29:00.000-07:00

Y'know...I think as much as we might not like to (I know I kinda like to), a lot of us pass judgement over all kinds of things and people. It's cool when it's right coz then you can say I told you so! But when it's wrong a lot of the time we find ourselves scrambling for al kind's of excuses to cover up for it.

In the words of the guy from the Geico insurance ad "Coz no one likes being wrong". I personally have to hold my hand up and say I judge and label people. All the time. Whether it's, "That's a piece of shit", "Man, that guy is such a dumbass" or "He's inbred", I do it all the time. And of course, sometimes you think...."That couple will never make it". I guess everyone know that yes, I'm not a very nice guy...and for those who don't....I'm not a very nice guy.

In any case, eating your own words for lunch is only almost as painful as being forced to suck the skin of your own fingers and smile to look like you're enjoying it. But...these days, now that I'm away from everything and everyone in the US...I actually find myself reflecting on some of the stuff I said and I guess I've changed a bitlah. From being a complete arse to not a very nice guy y'know?

I've thought about some of the stuff I've said along the way about people. Some of the time, even thought I was right...I realised it's just downright impolite. The biggest thing though is when you find the moments where you hate being right and just couldn't be happier being wrong. Well...the latter often begins with you accepting that you were wrong in the first place. Some of you will know what I'm talking about and be able to reference some of the things I've said before. It happens most in relationships I guess. When your friend breaks up with his girl and you just knew it was gonna happen. That's a good example of when you just hated being wrong...especially if your friend ends up in a puddle of shit. And when a couple works out longer than you expected...that's just an instance of when it's just the happiest feeling being wrong.

I guess this is a relatively short post but I felt that maybe...it's time to come out of the closet and admit that I've been wrong at times...(rarely, but still...see, I haven't fully come to grips with everything yet) and owe a general apology to all those I've done wrong.

I've recently found myself eating my words on at least 2 counts. And it actually makes me happy. Thinking about one of those counts makes me grin like an idiot for an extended period of time till my cheekbones hurt and thinking about the other tells me that there is still some true love left in this world. Who'd have thought someone like me actually enjoyed being wrong anyway? I guess everything changes when the ice melts.

Harold

~Harold's Men~

2006-09-29T14:38:00.000-07:00

I know, I know...it's a terrible friggin name. But yes, this was the only name that our band has ever performed under. My idea of Dragon 88 or 88' Dragons was rejected. I mean, come on! We are all born in 1988 which is the year of the Dragon in the Chinese zodiac right?

The other day I posted on 4 of the men who made my college life what it was. Today, I present you, 3 more who made it just that much better.

It's a damned shame that we only ever did 2 gigs and never got to do a battle of the bands coz I'm pretty sure we would've handed a lot of people's asses back to them. It's one thing when you have a bunch of technically brilliant bandmates but it's another thing altogether to have a bunch of technically brilliant bandmates who share the same musical vision as you do and are just the greatest friends you can find. Truth be told, I hope this band will be re-formed one day in the future. When I listen to some of the songs we used to jam, I sometimes reach a point where I'm on the brink of tears because I just had so much fun doing them back in Malaysia.

About the band:

In the middle of 2005, a college buddy by the name of Kah Fai (the 1st guitarist in the band, left handed, 1988, one of the most accurate and quick players I've ever seen. Makes the quick shit looks easy and has made no more than a total of 10 mistakes in all of our jam sessions and gigs. That's 0 on gigs. And about 8 in more about 20 2-hour jam sessions) and I decided to go with a bunch of other fellas to perform at the 1Utama Fete de la Musique. The bunch we went with was a mix of Kah Fai's old band and my old band. At the show, all the other bands were average, leaving us to think we wouldn't look like shit on stage. However! As fate would have it, the band that performed before us was Cosmic Funk Express. At that point, they weren't that big yet. We had our asses handed back to us so bad (they'd hand anyone's ass back to them basically). I don't have to tell you how iconic they'd become in Malaysia and am greatly saddened that the band is no longer as their Korean guitarist will be going home soon enough.

But they served as a catalyst for us to rethink the direction of the band. A huge chop and change occured where of the 6 who performed at 1Utama, only 2 remained. The 2 being Kah Fai and myself.

The 2 of us effectively remained quiet for a while with the AS exams and all but we continued to seek out a new drummer. Yet again, as fate would have it...I emceed the 2005 Catholic High School Prom Night and that was to prove a huge inflection point.

On the night, a band played there to great effect and were pretty damn impressive. A band of my juniors from high school. Despite only playing some Bon Jovi and Avril Lavigne (only coz they had to), something told me the drummer was cracko. So we invited him to jam a month later.

By this point, the band (Kah Fai and I) had already decided that the musical direction of the band. No more pop. It was hard rock and metal. And in the drummer we jammed with, we found just what we needed. Ken Inn. Enter Malaysia's version of Yoshiki of X-Japan. A nut case hardcore, classical pianist trained drummer who's groove and double bassing have so far been unparalleled in people I've jammed with. So the 3 of us jammed for a while and it was time for a new 2nd guitarist.

On Ken Inn's recommendation, we brought in Wenlong. God knows why he was so nervous when he jammed with us, but he didn't get to give it his all the first few rounds. This was a time full of dilemma as we had been accomadating another guitarist at the same sessions rotating bass duties for different songs. We had to choose between the 2 so Kah Fai and I took our time at it. In the end, we didn't make the decision. Wenlong made it for us. In the time we spent thinking, he had improved so immensely the choice was obvious. All the feel in the world on the guitar and so much technical ability.

Now, just a bassist away from a full band. Kah Fai and I held our previous bandmate Ju Liang in the highest esteem. He was just a one of a kind bassist. As he had been battling leukaemia, the chemotherapy sessions made it very difficult for him to be part of the band. We had been deliberating over adding as bassist just awaiting his return. It's a shame that he couldn't join us, but we realised his health above all was the priority of course. So on Wenlong and Ken Inn's recommendation, we brought in Victor.

All 100% bassline rocking, Liverpool loving goodness. He wasn't just a replacement, he made the role his. With the running notes and lovely licks...the choice was obvious as well. Take some time to get warmed up, but once he's running, nothing's stopping him. Brilliant.

And so we had a full band. This band would do 2 gigs both of which we received great praise and record 1 demo album on our own. I'm not putting the tracks on here coz I sound like the band is playing in the bathroom and I'm in the shower singing. But if you really wanna hear some of our stuff, drop me an e-mail sometime and I might send it to you.

The thing about having a band full of good musicians is that you have the ability to do all kinds of music. We've jammed Bon Jovi, Metallica, Deep Purple, Eric Clapton, Megadeth, more Metallica! and even managed to write one instrumental piece as well.

One of the saddest things I realised the day I knew for sure I'd be leaving was that I'd be leaving behind a band full of promise and good friends. I hope that this is only temporary coz it'd be a damned shame if this all the fun we have together. Till the day we jam again, ROCK ON the lot of you! Now and forever!

HAROLD'S MEN

(Left to right: Ken Inn, Kah Fai, Me, Wenlong and Victor)

Harold
p/s: We're dressed like that coz it was Kah Fai's and my prom night

~The only picture~

2006-09-25T17:05:00.000-07:00

I was just saying the other day to Kah Fai, " I don't think we have a single pic with all 5 of us together. It's a shame we didn't get one during the prom too." And that was it, I thought...when will I ever see all 4 of them together again. The 4 guys who made my college life what it was. Craziest bastards around. And then I stumbled upon this picture in my Lang Tengah collection. Everyone looks really doped and I'm as black as I'll ever be. But who gives a shit right? It's ok to look like shit if it's with your mates.

This is the gayest shit you'll here me say...but...man, I love you guys. Thank you for the great times. Stay in touch always my brothers.

(From left to right: Alex Ang, Kuok Yuen, Kah Fai, Me, Phang Kit)

Cheers!
Harold

Random Shit

2006-09-20T23:57:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you've all heard about the bloodless (what a shame) coup in Thailand. So I thought I'd leave you with a lil something that sprang to my mind the moment I heard about it.

Gen. Sondhi Boonyaratkalin:

ALL YOUR THAILAND ARE BELONG TO US

Wishing you a happy coup!
Harold

1 Month On

2006-09-09T01:54:00.000-07:00

Well...today marks exactly 1 month since I landed here in the US and already it's been a terrific experience. I can't even begin to explain how much of an impact all this has on me. But I'm gonna try a bit in this post.

So yeah, I came here thinking Americans spend their life in university slacking off and doing shit. Well...I guess the History majors do...drunkard bastards. But so far most don't. But not the Engineering bunch nooo. We always have shit going down to do. Math tests every Friday (which count towards the finals) and all the other subjects have tests now and again. It's crazy I tell you. But that's the way it is. I wanted a new academic experience...looks like I got more than I asked for. Pfft.

The temperature these days hits a high of 30 and as low as 15 degrees Celsius(watch me defy the system! Celsius over Fahrenheit!) But most times it's windy too so everything is just peachy. I especially enjoy it because I cycle around campus a lot. I work on campus doing clerical work (how I wish it was preaching and not filing) which pays me a decent amount and it's not too bad. Repititive of course but this is good practice for office life. Not that I wanna get adjusted to it too much coz I don't intend to spend a lifetime there. Just that, my head would asplode otherwise if I went right in to working 9 to 5s in a cubicle. I have to cycle around a lot because classes can be quite far apart and sometimes I only have 10 minutes to make it from one end to the other and also my work sometimes requires me to go all over campus to pick up or deliver stuff. I don't care too much coz the pay's pretty decent for an undergrad working on campus. Actually...on an hourly rate, I'm probably in the 2nd highest paying job. The highest paying one was given out to someone else by the time I got here. But it's not bad otherwise.

So yeah, I've had to juggle work and class as well as helping around the house. I do a lot more these days with my bro. We clean up the garage, fix lots of stuff in and around the house and shit. Labour here is expensive, so learning how to handle power tools and do handy man shit is good for you. Hell, I might even start charging some people around if they need me to do stuff for them. Soon....soon. But yeah, that's all cool and I've even had time to learn how to change the pickups on my guitar as well. Which I have done already and wasn't as straight forward as I thought it'd be. Well...in theory its really easy but in actuality, it takes nearly an hour to get 1 done. I still play the guitar when I have the time and I'm working on a new track as well with my spare time. Hopefully this'll be better than the last one I made.

We learn all the time in Malaysia that we shouldn't let foreign culture in particular Budaya Amerika Syarikat or what the fuck creep into our country. Well, I guess free sex and drinking isn't a good thing. I mean, it feels good...but...morally...whatever. Anyways, those aside, Malaysians could learn a fuck a lot from the people here. In fact, it's the Asians here who look retarded and uncultured. Malaysians in particular. A lot of them are like the jinjang la-la Sungai Wang mari type of jackasses that make us look bad. Colourful hair, speaking in canto real loud and only mixing with Malaysians. It's not like the Americans aren't friendly or anything but the Malaysians make themselves tough to accomadate sometimes. And the Japanese, Koreans whatever. All of my friends are Americans with the occasional German or Russian dude. Anyways, I got side tracked. The things Malaysians could learn from the locals here:

1. Hold doors open for the people behind you
2. Greet them whenever you make eye contact no matter if you don't know them
3. Stop at stop signs for pedestrians to cross
4. Be approachable in the middle of conversations ( I mean, let someone join you easily enough even if they're a stranger)
5. Not litter
6. Drive cars which actually meet worldwide emission ratings and even give the country a chance to adhere to the Kyoto Protocol
7. Speaking English (some might call it American, but it's pretty close)
8. Get married and have kids younger (Just playing)

Because of some of the jackasses that come here, Malaysia is looked at like some crap country. Here's how I know that.

I was talking to some guys and this chick who I'd just met. And it was cool, they were funny and we were talking shit like we'd known each other forever and all. So they were telling me how one of their friends came to OSU to follow his wife. Conversation ensues:

White guy: Yeah, it happens here. People either get married young or have kids younger.
Harold: Wow...ok shit. That's nasty. Where I come from, your parents would fuck you up and everyone would look at you funny if you made someone pregnant at this age.
White guy: Where are you from?
Harold: Malaysia.
White guy: WOOOOH. Wait a fucking minute.
White girl: No way
Harold: Why?
White guy: Why do you speak such good English? <----Check it out Harold: Err...it's my first language. And well, I've learnt it all my life and it's what I speak at home. White guy: But the rest of them sound like they're speaking Chinanese. White girl: No way...Malaysia is like my favouritest place in the world! <---Huh? Harold: What the...why? White girl: Ever since I watched Zoolander I've always wanted to go there. Harold: (Speechless for once)
Harold: We actually have fashion in Malaysia and our Prime Minister does not look like a monk nor does he want to destroy the fashion industry.

I mean, seriously...I know why my brother always says he's Australian whenever people ask him where he's from. It's an easy get out of jail ticket from the reactions and they seem to say lots of nice things over there. I think you'll probably hear more Steve Irwin (R.I.P) was a good man these days. Me...I think I'll clear some of the myths about Malaysians if I can. Well, they don't exactly think we live on trees, but occasionally they react to the name Malaysia like how I reacted to the name Togo during the World Cup. That is, WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT?

So yeah, they can be quite ignorant sometimes.

The interesting thing here is, a lot of the other Engineering students are the type I like to hang out with. The types that know how to have fun but also knows how to get serious with stuff. I mean, sure when it comes to studying I'm always fooling around but I mean with projects and shit I'm hardly that.

Also, I'm on the lookout for business opportunities as well and set my sights on a few. I hope to make enough dough to maybe visit some of you other people in other parts of the world. I thought I'd never want to live in the US, but believe me if, if you ever wanted a nice place to live in with little crime, fresh air, pleasant people, nice scenery and a reasonably healthy environment, Stillwater, Oklahoma is it. It's just unbelievable. The only culture shock I got was with how a lot of the preconceived notions of the US are all so wrong. At least in Stillwater Oklahoma it is. I'll take a trip around the country sometime and report further then.

Meanwhile I've gotta leave you with a lil something from Youtube to watch. I hear these guys are being rebranded as Mat Cemerlangs instead of Mat Rempits. Apparently to give them newer and better directions for life. Are you fucking kidding me? A rose by any other name...you catch my drift. Except it's not so rosy for these guys. This fucking cracks me up every time. Enjoy!

Harold
(Motor masih hidup! Ya! Ya!)

~In OOOOOOOOOOOOOOKLAHOOOOOOMA!~

2006-08-12T04:07:00.000-07:00

As many of you are undoubtedly aware, I left for the USA on Wednesday in the morning and magically arrived in the USA on Wednesday night. But Harold! It's a 24 hour plus flight...how did you do it? *Snort* majik.

In any case, yes, I've been here a couple of days and it's been pretty nice...except the weather was an ungodly 47.2 degrees Celsius. I mean, seriously, I came all the way from KL bitching about how hot it was at 35 degress Celsius only to have my ass fried over here in Oklahoma. When I landed at Los Angeles I was lured into a false sense of security. It was real breezy and it was a really nice looking city. Whatever of it I saw walking from Terminal 1 to Terminal 4. I assure, you, that took a good fucking 15 minutes. And then when I reach my transit to Oklahoma, I find out my bag is way overweight. Nothing to do my with body weight alright...just the bag. MAS allowed me to take 32 kgs per piece of check-in luggage. So I maxed that out. US Airways tells me when I reach the terminal they only take 22kgs. So I'm like? WTF?! I ended up unpacking a whole bunch of shit and loading it into my already about to asplode backpack. If I'm not mistaken the backpack weighed it at nearly 10kgs then. But fuck it, it was still overweight but within the acceptable region. So I parted with USD$50. Fuckers.

In the US, when you lock your check in luggage, you have to use specific TSA Certified locks otherwise they cut your bag open. TSA locks have keyholes for the master keys which the customs agents hold, allowing them to open your bag and inspect. So my bag had all TSA locks. Yet, some dickwad broke the fucking zip open and ran through my shit. I mean, it was a mess. And US Airways tells me they're not responsible for that sort of damage. To quote them, they are not responsible for :

Damage to:
Wheels, feet, zippers, extending handles
Over-packing of the bag
Fragile or perishable items
Loss of external locks
Pull or security straps
Manufacturer's defects

So yeah, basically, they aren't responsible for shit. So yeah, my brand new Delsey bag is kinda fucked up right now. But not too much of a fuss coz I can still lock it and open and close the bag. But seriously, why'd I buy those TSA locks then. They cost quite a bit y'know. Oh, and I beat that no liquids on plane shit by about 3 hours. I think it might've started coz of me. In the rush to unpack that 10kgs into my backpack, I dumped a bottle of Pantene Pro-V out at the counter. Nasty! I'm hoping homeland security doesn't come to fuck me up.

Anyways, if any of you feel like sending me some letters or something non explosive/banned/fucked up gifts, I'm living in 1324, N. Skyline Street, Oklahoma 74075 USA. It's a really nice area. I mean...it's quiet, neighbours...wait...neighbors are nice and the air is fresh and clean and the view is good. It's also got very clear and starry skies. So far I've only been meeting my brother's friends (who're all wicked cool fellas) coz the only thing I've done in the uni is settle 1/2 my enrolment. I was supposed to go see an advisor to settle my subject choices...but those cunts leave the office at like 1pm on Fridays. They're like government offices in KL man. And it's not like they're off to pray.

Well, the uni is....well...huge. Fucking fucking huge. Like you can walk...and then walk...and then walk some more. Apparently it's not that big a campus according to my bro. Michigan State University is apparently 4 times larger. Ok. But I had a bike for a while so I road around to look see. I can't even begin to tell you just how beautiful the campus is. The lawn is well taken care of and the gardens are so well maintained. And everything the architecture is cool too. Clock towers and stuff. Especially the Noble Research Center. It's all glass and really huge. Haven't been in there though. Walking around the uni could actually be something really romantic and potentially exhausting. The buildings are pretty old and all but still in good shape and the facilities so far aren't bad at all. And all the people I've met around there so far are really nice and helpful too. I think I could seriously like this place y'know. And the food...well, not quite KL, but still it's pretty good. I ate at Taco Mayo at the uni. It's a USD4.49 but you get 3 tacos, some chips and a medium drink. Medium by the way, is way fucking larger than the largest shit in KL. And no matter where you eat, drinks are always free flow. Now you I know why these people here are so obese. Damn. I sure hope the same doesn't happen to me.

Well, in any case, my orientation is only on the 16th and class begins on the 21st. So still some time to take a look around. I'll put pictures up when I've got some nice ones to put up. I know OSU ain't much as far as prestige goes...but if the teaching is good I might not mind staying here. Anyways, hope all you chums in KL and everywhere else take good care of yourselves and we stay in touch. I'm not giving my handphone number out coz an SMS costs about USD$0.30 to send international and another USD$0.30 to receive. That's one thing that sucks here. I might as well just call you guys back home. Its only USD$0.03 a minute.

Cheers,
Harold

~What If?~

2006-07-24T05:25:00.000-07:00

1 month and 6 days. Exactly the time between me last post and this one. Not much has changed since then. 2 band gigs, 1 plane ticket to the US settled and 3 injections. I'm 2 weeks and 2 days away from leaving for the states and it's starting to dawn on me that time is fast running out and I have to pack in as much fun as I possibly can into the said time. One day is picked off already to go for Cosmic Funk's final gig at the Sunrise Jazz Festival and others will be picked off soon enough.

Seeing as how going to the US is essentially a brand new start, some personal reflection takes place everyday of thing's I've done here. All of which ranges from the typical to the near macabre. But I'm not gonna spend my time ranting on about the things I've done but instead, address the issue that comes to mind whenever nostalgia goes all crazy on your ass. What if?

It happens when you look at your exam results and think, shit, I go 99% instead of 100% for the nerds out there. What if I had looked at that question a lil closer? Surely I knew how to do it! It happens when you look at your exam results and had failed miserably. What if I'd studied a lil more?! What if I hadn't spent so damn a lot of time being a wanker?

With the World Cup having passed we can only wonder what if say...Rooney stayed on the pitch? Would England have beaten Portugal? But no one really gives a fuck about that, coz England would've lost to Germany anyway. Or worse still, what if Zidane hadn't head butted Materazzi? Would they have won the world cup? Would Zidane have shove all 6kgs of solid gold glory up the bunghole of that Italian bastard?

What happens when you consider religious choices or actions. What if everything you believed in turned out to be a lie and it had led you down the wrong path and instead of finding heaven you wind up stuck here on earth to burn or in hell...to burn anyway? What if there isn't a God? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust maybe?

Worst of all when your girlfriend or boyfriend dumps you. The what ifs rain down on you like piss did on Stiffler in American Pie 2. Always a fresh, warm and seemingly endless stream of it showering down on your face. The questions give you sleepless nights. Everytime you close your eyes or blink even, you remember the person and you miss them. Wondering how it is you took something so good for granted or how it is you managed to fuck up something so perfect. Sometimes even when they're being treated like dirt and a breakup seems like an improvement, people still gun themselves down. Or best thought yet, what if I didn't get with her in the first place. Then I wouldn't be feeling like I'm swimming in shit now.

So the post seems rather repetitive. So you've seen it and heard it all before indeed. We face it all the time when we screw up and sometimes even when we don't. Yes, it can be a good thing. After considering all things, you know how to do better next time assuming there is one or at very least, you learnt your lesson. You've grown in a way. But more often that not, we let the what ifs weight down on us. So much it fails to serve as a lesson. More as a destructive distraction that emaciates. I listen a lot to people when they face relationship problems. Sometimes hearing your ex tell you it's not your fault doesn't cut it. You take it on yourself and you tell yourself you screwed up. You tell yourself you could've done better. And if you really hadn't done anything wrong, you wind up feeling like you did and end up feeling like you're swimming in shit...again.

All things said and done, I've probably felt the same way about these things at some point or another and maybe I will in the future...though I hope not. The best way to deal with it even when it hurts is to look at the positives and just look at the mistakes which are there and think how to improve. Don't look so much you end up making up shit that wasn't really there. You've done what you've done and it's over. Just remember that no matter what, if it hurts that much, it probably wasn't worth it anyway.

Harold

~The time gone by~

2006-06-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

My blog is now officially 1 year and 3 day's old. It really hasn't seemed like that long at all I guess...mostly because I don't post that frequently and shit. But most notably, 18 months ago, I was new to college life and had a relatively small social circle. I say relatively, in relation to now. 18 months on. Where I have met so many new people and have been blessed to have been in the greatest class in all of Taylor's College. 0501PE2.

You wanna know how cool are class is? People leave their class to be with our's. Ain't no beating that. Only 3 days ago, the class trip to Lang Tengah was concluded. If the last 18 months have been the best time of my life then surely the 4 days and 3 nights there would have to be up there with them. For those who have no idea wtf Lang Tengah is, it's an island not too far away from Redang where the beaches are rather pristine coz not too many people know of it. It's great for sea, sun, fun, chilling with your mates and having more than your share of alcohol and of course, I spent so much time without my shirt, there were no tan lines. Just a darker me.

Rumour has it it's great for couples as well...but I wouldn't know, I went stag...one jealous son of a bitch I was. But anyway. It's one thing to attend classes with the nuts of PE2, it's another thing to be thrown on a beach with them for 4 days and 3 nights. Seriously, you guys are one bunch of mad fuckers...and I love y'all for that. Coz really, I wouldn't be at home anywhere else. I typically hung out with my 4 close mates during college times but being with the lot of y'all out there reaffirmed my belief. PE2 has all the colour in the world for character and all the brains to succeed in life as well. Sadly, Mo,Sarah, Ikhwan, Edmund, Chin Ping and Yee Xuen couldn't be there (you have no idea what you missed out on people...or maybe you have a rough idea, but you'll never fathom it's entirety...wish you guys were there)

Out on the island, we could do whatever the hell it is we wanted and really, thats where PE2 shines. Coz we really like breaking the rules...and now there were no consequences to breaking them. Hell, it's like letting a pit bull out in an open area full of chickens. I loved the company, the drinks, watching Kah Fai get stoned, laughing at all your sunburns and singing on the bus back from the place. Never have I had that much fun being so off key and having a sore throat.

When we first arrived at the place we asked ourselves, wtf were we gonna do for 4 days and 3 nights coz it seemed we'd exhausted everything. But really, I would still love to play some Joga 3, beach volleyball, ultimate frisbee and just lob sea cucumbers back at forth with you people. It's really quite crazy how much we seemd to wanna cram all that fun those last few days. I think it'll be some time before the bunch of us come out in full force again. But believe me, I'd do this over and over again with you fellas. I've had a charmed life it seems to have met the lot of you. I was initally disappointed to have gone rather single with all the couples around. But really, I didn't miss that too much other than when I was enjoying the stars and the breeze all alone. The environment and the people just made the whole thing so relaxing and 110% splendid.

To my best mates, my brother's in arms and the people who spent the most time with me:

Kah Fai: For being like a brother to me. If we met in high school, we would've ripped the teachers a new asshole by now. Guitarist, foos partner and good friend. We'll go rock climbing around the island some time.

Kuok Yuen: Iron man. The best futsal partner one could ask for and a best friend from all that time ago. You kick ass man, big time.

Phang Kit: Another best friend from all that time ago. All the times spent talking crap and riding in your car. You are truly one of a kind. Good boy my ass.

Alex: For being the fat ass neighbour that you are and one of the most cekap friends a guy could ever ask for. I'll still be seeing you a bit more considering you live next door.

Gavin: The opinionated wise guy. You're really just one of us when you let rip with the MCP or racist remarks man.

Tian Ping: One of the nicest people you'll ever meet and really fuckin smart. Thank you for the intellectual and lame pun riddled conversations.

To the lot of you, Xue Lieh, Sarah, Chin Ping, Ming Hann, Yee Xuen, Chun Kiat, Roshan, Jor How, Meng Fai, Yee Yien, Gabriel, Yee Yien, Khei Sheen, Edmund, Wei Siang, Mohan, Li Chun and the imports, Darell, Jun Yong and Dian. Thank you for making the trip so worthwhile and the rest of my time in college kick ass.

I love you all you sexy bitches! I'm a bit lazy to write something extra about all of you at the moment. I will leave you all testimonials on your friendsters soon enough.

Harold

~D'ooooh!~

2006-05-07T23:40:00.000-07:00

I know I said my next post would have come sooner coz I had it thought out and all...but I've just been plain, flat out, truer than true, very honestly lazy to type it out. You know how my posts are long and shit...so it takes a bit of effort. And now...fuck, I'm not even gonna bother discussing the topic which I intended to initially... Fact is, my finals begin in under a week and it promises to be some seriously tough shite. God willingly I'll pull through it unscathe with a minimal of fuss. To all those who will be going through exams in under a month or so, I wish you the best of luck.

Things in a lot of areas of my life seem to be going well but one of em took a turn for the not so good....but in any case, I think I see the bright side of the whole issue. I think if it turned out better for me, it might've ended being rather selfish in the long run...in any case, at least I should be able to leave the country in peace.

That said, for those who don't already know, over the past 2 months, my plans of sticking around for maybe another year or so at least in KL have gone right out of the window. I've had to fight boredom at the passport office, battle Embassy Officers, outrun rabid Rottweilers, cover up previous anarchistic and terrorist related activities and deal with the toughest fuckers of them all...paper work....a lot of it. And as usual, your's truly was outnumbered but neither outMANned nor outGUNned...man, I like the emphasis on the text in upper case. So yes, basically, I've settled the necessary paperwork and visa related issues for me to further my education in the US of A.

Those of you who ever apply for American Visa...you'll know what they meant when they said, everyone was affected by the 9/11 tragedy. I thought...I mean, sure, there were economic repercussions...but I thought that was it. But now, its affected me as an individual. I now have to fill up 2 more forms than before, pay an extra USD$100 for some other nonsense processing fee and forced to answer questions like: "Do you have any previous training with nuclear, chemical or biological agents and/or firearms?", "Do you intend to enter the United States to engage in any trade control activities, terrorist activities etc..." And my all time favourite "Have you ever participated in any forms of genocide or in activities under the direction of Nazi Germany?". But you gotta love the fellas...they reassure you that just because you answer any of these questions with a YES, your application will not immediately be rejected. Maybe after someone spills some coffee on it and the aforementioned rabid Rottweilers have their way with it. I'd have thrown a fit if my application was denied...I'd already spent USD$200 by that time.

I mean....as my friend put it, the questions are meant to weed out the stupid terrorists at least...And thankfully, with some clever well practiced smiles and some confident speaking, I survived the quick interview and now have the visa in my passport. So yes...all that's left is my medical examination...or rather my run of necessary vaccinations at a hospital sometime of my finals. Maybe the challenge of braving the needles and under paid staff nurses with psychotic tendencies will prove the most daunting of the lot.

With the English Premier League season drawing to a close as I type this, it means an integral part of my weekend has evaporated. The only thing now is to wait for the FA Cup final next weekend and the bloody Champions League finals which is at 3 am on a day I have a paper. At least....the good news is, on June the 9th there'll be a prom which seems promising to attend and a World Cup to look forward to....and then some other stuff. Well in any case, I'll discuss that topic I wanted to some other time...or maybe next time I get my hair or nails done or find new dress that I go crazy about I'll blog about it! (Ooh...giggles in glee...Tee Hee).

Shit, got carried away there. Anyways, here's to a happy May where I will celebrate my 18th birthday knowing I'll have 2 physics papers to contend with the next day. As the title of the posts says....D'ooooh!

Harold
Song playing: Bryan Adams - Please forgive me
(It's on shuffle alright? I didn't fuck anything up)

Impractical

2006-04-05T08:30:00.000-07:00

This is one fucking dead ass blog ain't it? I apologize to all those who come here and have been expecting a new read...I just haven't felt like blogging lately simply because I haven't been able to find something to blog about. Then I figured...something simple that seems to suddenly become a big part of your life when you become a teenager. Emotions. Impractical son's a bitches.

As a kid you were accustomed to a few emotions. The joy of playing catching and doing well in exams and fear and/or sadness when you didn't do so well in exams and you knew your parents were gonna kick your ass. Then all of a sudden when you reached high school (when you hit puberty...I guess for some it only happens after high school) and all of a sudden the way you looked in the mirror made a difference and what the girl who sat next to you thought of you actually begin to matter.

All of a sudden you wanted more control of everything concerned with you...though these days I still see a lot of people who're perfectly happy letting their parents do everything for them...can't stand the complacency there. But as time passes and you leave adolescence behind, you leave a lot of the nitty gritty crap behind as well. However...there are some you never do....these are the ones that maybe bring out the best in you but also make way for the mother of all downfalls.

Love. An intense feeling of deep affection. No shit...this has to be the biggest of em all. You experienced love as a kid...and then you showed it by giving your parents a hug...but later on in life...love can mean buying your wife that car she wanted (just kidding). Love meant having to take loads of responsibilities along the way. And maybe it’s the hormones acting or the pheromones or whatever it is...but somehow you always seem to become this retarded babbling lump of goo on the floor when you're in love. Your brain oft ceases to function and you struggle with making decisions or are tempted to jump right into one all in the name of love. Pretty god damn impractical ain't it?

Hope. The feeling of expectation or desire. By far one of the most painful things a person can have...but also one of the things that keeps us going. Hope paves the way for doing something as you see the prospect of the best...hope also paves the way for you to be disappointed. And you really can't win with how you see it. If you're optimistic people say you're unrealistic. If you try to be realistic people say you should look on the bright side of things....really...WTF? Hope can keep you pushing or hanging on to lost causes...impractical again ain't it?

Disappointment. The feeling when a failure to fulfil hopes or expectations occurs. Everyone has surely faced these before. A lot of the time, disappointments occur when poor choices are made...or when George H.W. and Barbara Bush had their first son. But anyway, a common adage states that a person who has never encountered disappointment before has never taken a chance before. Surely life can't be much fun then. Disappointments have a habit of lingering in your mind. No matter what you never forget them...because either you learn from them or you live in the fear of a repeat. They create unnecessary doubts which create greater issues and maybe hold you back in life. More impracticality.

Jealousy. The intense feeling of envy of towards another's success or belongings. When it all goes wrong for you and seems to have gone right for someone else...surely it is impossible to not have felt this for even a moment. Jealousy has to be one of the greatest poisons of the soul (I haven't really got one). Some may say that jealousy can be taken positively to drive you on to do better...but doing better just because you wanted to top someone else who did better than you once....that surely isn't the best reason to work harder. Jealousy may give you a goal...but the goal must be reached no matter at what cost. Jealousy makes you harbour on past issues...blinding you from seeing what lies ahead of you. Not just impractical...wrong as well.

Sadness. The feeling of great sorrow due to a loss. The one emotion which carries no positivity about it. The culmination of every emotion listed above gone wrong. The one that you might've felt as a kid when you didn't get that Power Ranger you wanted OH SO BADLY...the feeling you get when you get when you see the girl you love with someone else. It's jealousy, love forlorn, disappointment and the hope it'll all go your way someday rolled into one. The feeling that just leaves you wondering....WTF went wrong here? The feeling that makes you feel like you can't go on anymore. You don't even wanna know if it's being practical anymore.

These are just a few examples I thought of...I suddenly began to feel that emotions are highly impractical because it seems like I might just be leaving the the US real soon...and there'll be a lot of people I leave behind and will surely miss. There will be some I miss more than others....and there will be the ones I wished I could spend a lot more time with. But...emotions....are what make us human. I mean, animals have all of it too...but being human probably means (for some more than others) the ability to emphatize and truly feel. Impractial as it may be....it defines you. Yet again...I apologise to those (if any) who’ve been wanting something to read here and have waited so long. I hope I have not disappointed =)

Harold

~A Few Good People. A Few Tough Calls. Everything It Takes to Make A Difference~

2006-02-02T16:08:00.000-08:00

As is typical of this blog, all the posts come a long time apart. I just haven't come across anything worth blogging on. I definitely haven't bought any new skirts or anything...or maybe I have and I don't wanna post about it...so I haven't been posting. But anyway, I've been busy sorting out a lot of Student Council work with the functional bit of my committee. They've just been awesome. We've had to shake up the entire election system, change the way we select candidates and all that sort of crap. The election system which has by large been my brain child (something of a spin off the HELP one) is something I take great pride in. Not so much for its creation but it's successful implementation in the short time I've had. I must thank my teacher advisor for the help and endless effort she's put in to make things work. Due to the change, we've had to interview candidates a long the way and all. I'm almost envious of the next council. There're so many good looking candidates up for it! And they seem pretty good too...no guarantees just yet.

One of the candidates I interviewed the other day was saying how he plans to this and that for the students and said that he felt my council didn't do enough for the students. He's right, damned right in fact. But the fact is, few people know the full details of the council...yet those who've taken the effort to know what we've done...have applauded our work.

The council I inherited was nothing. It had shit for a system. A lot of complacency and most of all, when it came down to the people in it, there were a lot of useless gits. A lot of the effort in the council was really just mine. And yes, you can't run a prom solo. But a short while before the prom was to be held and it really could've been done...I intentionally threw a spanner into the works. You could say that...we could've carried on with the prom though it might've been arguably sub standard. But right then, I started shit talking the organisation of the prom and all. We took a lot of flak for it the council. But I realised there was a greater good.

A lot of the key decisions like pricing and timing were chosen by the college people instead of the council. Admittedly, location is still up to the college and that's hard to change hopefully someone else will manage it. I admit, I was responsible for a lot of the poor publicity the first prom got in the year. When I confirmed it had failed, I declared it to those who asked with a smile...a lot of people wondered if something was wrong with me. But it's failure opened up something for us...it was intended to. When we were asked to review the reason for the failure, I blamed poor planning, poor pricing and poor publicity. At that point, we only had control over the publicity...but now the college seeing that it had taken the blame for the pricing and certain details of planning decided to give us more control over these things as a challenge. A challenge we rose to splendidly I might say. We had to sack 3 useless members and bring it some fresh blood from the new intakes and a bunch of very capable people from my batch. We shook the prom organisation up. 3 new committees...overseen by my teacher and myself. The prom wasn't perfect, but it was the after effects which gave me the satisfaction. The college realised that the students when empowered could perform...and now that's how I will leave this council to the new batch.

Empowered. I read a lot of management books. The people you choose to do the job make the difference between progress and failure. The people you choose to empower make the difference between capitalising on a moment's opportunity and missing out forever. Empowering the right people is one of the most important things in the world. Before the shake up, you set a goal for everyone to reach and gave orders to certain people. After the shake up, each committee had a goal set for itself and the people went about it the way they knew best with some supervision to reach them. The college administration empowered us. We empowered the new members. We raised some people into the main committee as an incentive to work harder. And they did, performing some crucial tasks...especially our assistant secretary and Photoshop guy. The tickets, flyers, everything...all him...I cannot thank you enough Zyran. But there are so many more people who pulled their weight to great effect. Eva and Hafriz, your committees made a lot of a difference under your leadership.

When we were given the 2nd chance to organise the prom, which I knew we would coz Taylor's deposit was stuck in Holiday Villa, we couldn't fail. So each of the 3 committees pulled out all the stops. The ticketing and promotion committee headed by me marketted aggressively and we over sold the tickets. The initial projection was 200 people, we sold 283 tickets. The Finance committee balanced the books and helped with making certain ends meet. The Events people made sure the night itself went smoothly. All in all, the whole council was pulling in the same direction...in tandem and in harmony. I've made a lot of great friends in this process and I've seen some of the people I believe will make great future leaders in action.

The same group of people have since successfully organised 2 orientations for the new January 2006 batch. The first giving the council the kind of exposure it needed. The second giving people the fire to sign up and work. There were plenty more people interested this year than in my year...and plenty more people know the council exists for them. If you look back at my orientation last year. All we had was a half assed speech by the last president and shit for an election system as well as no exposure. The last council couldn't even host a Futsal Competition to save their life. People expect more of their council and will make sure they do their work if they know it exists...and now they do.

I'm not sure if the candidates were trying to suck up to me or what...but I've been getting a lot of "Harold, you've done well as president" from not just the new candidates, but the people I've worked with as well as the teachers. To me this means more than just running events with no heart and leaving the council with no progress. I believe if you're going to come into something and leave it the same way you came into it, then why bother coming in anyway? In terms of actual work, I've only had around 6 months of it with the council. 6 months to shake the systems up, run a prom and make sure the council reaches new audiences and hence new heights in the future. We've also had to try and make sure the right candidates to realise this are picked...I think the Final 10 we've picked look good to do it. I've always thought myself to be a capable leader...not meaning to boast here. I've never really led...but a lot of the time when I was placed with some power, I did nothing. I can't keep doing nothing and thinking the same can I? I'm glad I've done it now.

But truth be told...I might look good, because I've gotten to work with some of the best. All across the committee, except for one useless member and the best teacher advisor one could ask for. It was hard coming to grips with a lot of the things my teacher advisor wanted at the start, but I appreciate them now because without her, a lot of our work would've been stunted. She empowered and motivated us. We sacked the useless ones to stop the rot and we hope to sack the last one to end it forever. This is what it's taken to make the difference I know we've made. A few good people and a few tough calls.

2005 Review

2005-12-31T09:01:00.000-08:00

Auld Lang Syne. 2005 is now a fresh file in the cabinet to the right of the cuckoo clock in aisle 3 behind the 3rd door in my mind. You get the idea...it's passed. First, let me start simply by saying, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL! If you're reading this, thank you for stopping by. I don't think I have many readers, so I appreciate the few I have very much.

2005 has been...an awesome awesome year. Truly. Kicked off an entirely new chapter of my life. College. The thrills, the spills and the great friends made. Becoming student council president, organising the prom, pressing deadlines while trying not to get left behind while in class. It's been a real ride this year. No tears shed this year, except when I made the post Dear Dad. I think the entire year has been a huge step forward for me. On an emotional an intellectual level, it's been a very good year for learning. Physically, my knee is really fucked up, so not too good, but the Singapore Open Frisbee Competition and the Futsal Competitions were awesome though I played through the pain barrier...as masochistic as it may sound, it makes you feel plenty tougher.

0501PE2 gets the first award, Class of a Lifetime. I thought the 4S4 and 5S4 days were good...and they were, hard to beat I tell ya. But PE2 has just been crazy fun and insane. Will make the most of the last 6 months I have with these guys so that the memories and the friendships continue to infinity.

Probably the new chum of the year award will go to Kah Fai. That fucking innocent looking piece of shit I met on orientation day, complete with nerd glasses turned out to be just like the rest of the gang. Foosball partner, pool kaki, dota kaki, futsal team mate and guitarist. But most of all, a great friend with a cool house. Hahahaha...nice to meet you man.

Neighbour of the year, will go to Alex. Hahaha...only because I don't know anybody else in the neighbourhood. But...truly, you're a good friend to have around.

One of the best things I've had this year, has also been the old chums I've brought over from high school. Phang Kit, Kuok Yuen and Tian Ping. I'd be hard pressed to find better company and well if there was a list of people I could've brought over from CHS, you guys would be right on it. Thank you for being around.

The early part of the year was...semi frustrating largely due to the failed prom and the fuck ups I couldn't work with...or rather didn't wanna work but the 2nd half of the year made up for it with the whole organisation shake up. I couldn't be more proud to work with the people I did. Especially Zyran, Eva, Seng Chee and Hafriz. The grad ball wouldn't have happened without you guys.

Hui Ying, always has been and always will be, one of the friends I hold dearest to my heart. The first off to Uni as well. Sniff...you're a big girl now! Hahahaha...success will follow you wherever you go because of who you are. And you are great...no doubt about it.

So many new people met, so many friends made. But on the last few days of the year, a friend made again. After nearly a year of frigid silence and occasional moments of immaturity, Mel, it's good to be back as friends again. Hahaha, the past 1 year has been such a nuisance, lets hope the next 1 year will be way better.

Chau Sean, away in Singapore, but always one of me great chums. Don't become a kiasu cunt, or I'll beat the Malaysian back into you. Take care of Bex. I know we've got a bet on, but I'd willingly part with RM50 to see you happy with her. Always my man.

And Jonathan as well, back from NZ after 4 years. Crazier and still a great friend of mine. Long live the Catholics!

On a lower note, Ju Liang (math teacher, bassist and friend) is down with leukaemia. I urge all to pray for him. He may be down, but he'll never be out. Ju Liang > Leukaemia.

Well...as you can see, this entire post, has basically been about the people who've made 2005 an awesome year. And that's what it'll always be about. Life is just so much better when you've got cool people to share it with. It's a rarity, but this will be one of the few posts that isn't about me or what I think. It'll be about all the people out there who've made this life here a much better one. On to 2006, it's gonna be tough to beat 2005, but I know we will!

Happy New Year,
Harold

~Love~

2005-12-19T07:37:00.000-08:00

*Please adjust the gender of the subjects to suit your taste.

Man, look at that title. I'm going gay. It's been an eternity and then some since my last post. I hardly think many people have missed it. But well, you know how it is, I won't write till I really feel like it.

It's that churning in your stomach when she walks by. The way your tongue seems tied in knots when she says HI. The way you hear beautiful music even when you're walking in the rain (walking in the rain is cool but not so good for you by the way). All that typical shit. Sometimes these cliches scream "Me SO CORNY". But what can you do? They all suddenly seem kinda...acceptable when you're in love.

I know, love can be that of a mother to a child...you to a dog (not in a porn sorta way you sick fucks...just in case =) or whatever it is. But the type I'm talking about is well...between opposite sexes...sometimes the same sex...whatever you like.

As some of you may know, Harold is making an attempt at playing the guitar. And of course, once in a while, we all do get a lil poetic or lyrical and feel like writing something. Especially when it's late at night, you're the only one awake and you're listening to Lifehouse's Blind. I'm not one to post song lyrics as an entire post like some others...especially if it isn't original...but ever so often, the words strike a chord within you. Those midnight chats you had with your ex, the girl you didn't have the balls to say hi too and still can't speak coherently when you see.

Some of us are just better at it than others at walking up and making the first move, some of us spend a lifetime regretting the hesitance others hurt about the attempts which turned out less than rosy. But whatever it is, it's always something you never forget.

A priest once told me that love...should be allowed to blossom freely but that you keep tabs of your actions. It brings out the best and the worst in us. And that's also the best part of it. Only when your partner sees it all, can they decide if you're what they want. No one's perfect. Bread with the crumbs...(mmmm I like crumbs).

A lot of the day, we spend the time being guarded, manufactured even to let the world see us the way we want to be seen so we can be accepted easily. But until you truly love and let all your guard down with the one you love (nudity is not constituted in this...but helps) you might not even know who you really are. For a lot of us, this may have resulted in a break up in the long run. Let's face it, we're a lot smoother when we're trying to pick someone up than when we are already together....it's tiring to keep up the facade. Being romantic however should come quite easily. When being you results in a breakup, it often encourages you be guarded all over again. Truly...true love comes when you find the one who'll take you for all the turd that you are as you take them for all the rubbish they might be. More often that not, this...'it' factor that makes someone seem like the one is largely intrinsic. Well, scientifically, they'll tell you it's pheromones that match between people. Just like why durian mine seem like the world to some and doggy doo doo to others...but a lil more complex. A further why leads to more perplexing answers which are just beyond me.

The right person gives you a holistic feeling of peace. Some of you may know how that feels. The person makes you feel all at once, peace of mind, body and soul. Discussing the body part(s) might seem a lil sensitive(so full of connotations that last sentence...sensitive and body parts in the same sentence...for the slower ones) but I'm going to anyway.

I can't be sure, coz well, I haven't had very many relationships...but they weren't all bad so I guess I have an idea. When there's someone in your world who makes the day seem brighter, you do become more patient most of the time...calmer if you will. Coz you know even if you've had a bad day, being with the one you love will make it all right. Which leads to the body section. Doesn't have to be anything sexual. A hug from the one you love would mean a lot more than a lap dance and sex from a hooker. And you're bound to feel that peace in your soul. The void filled by your soul mate.

Taken positively, "love can be a many splendid thing", "all you need is love" (Moulin Rouge's Elephant Love Medley) for real. Makes you feel a lil more positive, responsible towards the person and well..can take you further. Taking it negatively leads you down the road to perdition. But well...a lot of the time, we confuse love and lust. It's easy coz well, looks make a lot of the initial attraction no doubt...just make sure it isn't the entire attraction. For guys who need help with that, PM me, I'll give you a lil tip on how to work that out...girls...err...not so sure yet.

It's a crazy thing love...largely beyond your control and totally out of the blue. People have asked me...how do you know if you're in love. Answer: I have no friggin idea...you just do.

This is mad,
Harold

Where do we go from here?

2005-11-10T01:42:00.000-08:00

Well, as usual, it's been a while between the last post and this one. I was going to post the other day, then I lost motivation in what I was gonna talk about so I scrapped the whole thing. Truly, this is one of the few things that I figure, if I'm gonna do, I best do properly. If I can't even put own an article on a topic I am opinionated on, I might as well shoot myself.

As I type this, I'm only hours away from my Chemistry 2 paper. I can't sleep at the moment coz I took a nap. I know I should be studying, but that's one thing I'm full of excuses for. When I've lots of time, I procrastinate. And then when time is short, I say no point cramming. So yes, it's not that I don't care for my education. I'm just have little or no discipline. My attentions span with computers and games is fine. But when it comes to hitting the books, I might as well be asleeplah.

Anyway, this being Part 1 of the A-levels finals and having to send out university applications, it really gets you thinking what you're gonna do with life. Up to this point, the decisions have been simple after major exams. UPSR = no decisions. PMR = science stream. SPM = scholarship insya allah or some private college. A-levels = Uni...but now what? There's so god damn many choices!! Somehow you have to find something to pursue which:

1) Has job prospects
2) You like enough you don't mind getting messy in it
3) Prospects for progress
4) You CAN do
5) You CAN afford to pursue

These things aren't even in order here. They basically all have to be fulfilled in order for the choice to seem right. And very often, you find people who fail to fulfill all of them. Failing in even 1 aspect can bring a lot of distress surely enough. A lot of at some point or another dreamt of going into the entertainment industry, or becoming and athlete or something. Your parents probably looked at you rather despairingly if you told them. Truly enough, prospects locally are limited. You love it though, and you're willing to work hard to progress. But can you do it? I know some people say for a lack of genius, you make up with hard work. I think that goes up to a point. The point where when everything is so competitive, that the geniuses work hard too.

A lot of people like to surrender it all to faith. That somehow there is a calling for each and everyone of us. Perhaps this might be true. Things do have a habit of falling into place. But only if you haven't forgotten your part in allowing faith to happen. You won't hear your calling if you're not listening. And nothing falls into place if you haven't made the places for them to fall into. People blame luck sometimes. But luck is merely the intersection between preparation and opportunity.

For the last several years, I've kinda opted to do engineering. Law played in the back of my mind, but died after a few short symphonies. Engineering is...well...fulfilling to all the criteria. In terms of affording to do so, that determines where I go to do it more than what I intend to do. I can do it, definitely, just the effort which I'm quite sure I'll make.

I'm pretty materialistic in a sense. I'm all about the money. It doesn't mean I'll do anything for money. That makes you a manwhore, not a materialist. Whatever I do, I must be able to see money in it. At least in the foreseeable future. Which means right now, that anything I do no matter what, leads me back to 1 line. Running a business of my own and investing. Sure, you can work for someone else and be rich. But I wanna be really fucking rich y'know? No matter how much you make working for someone else, it means he's likely making more than you.

So now...it seems to be, why do engineering then? Of course, everyone needs to start somewhere of course. Capital to invest or whatever. But if you can achieve your desired destination in more or less the same time as with all your options, why choose one over the other? Especially since other options fulfill all the criteria. So now I've sort of been placed in a situation where I might have to rethink all this. I wouldn't mind working in real estate or doing investment banking. I'm quite sure I can excel in these fields really. I have the zeal for it too. Money is proportional to effort, there is no fixed income. And when you work in these lines, a lot of the battle is won brokering deals. Something I'm pretty capable of. Those fulfill all the criteria as well. Though my parents were more into me taking a professional course (i.e. Engineering, Law etc...) but that's coz of older mentality. You know? The, study hard, go to a good uni, join the rat race, start a family, work harder to support them and make less money than the guy who started the company uneducated? But my parents are pretty reasonable. Especially my dad. He went through the aforementioned older mentality, but escaped the rat race when he could, though not entirely.

Seriously, now I'm faced with crucial decisions which I seem to be pressed to make with more options opening up before me. Though this really isn't a bad thing. The other day, someone told me, "What makes you think everyone wants to go far?". I found this line to be rather disturbing. If you don't plan to go far, then working hard now is pointless. I'm someone who intends to defy working hard now but do so when it matters most for me to go far. That would be, university and most importantly working life. So far, everything I've done till now, despite my laziness, is because I've timed some things well and always make the cut for what I intend to do. I hone necessary skills in the place of my academics sometimes because they're what matter to me more and I believe will change my life in the future. I've got a tough teacher in my dad but I'm a pretty tough student for lessons in life anyway. I know there's a lot of people who don't know what they want to do after college. A lot of the time, these people just follow their friends...who followed their friends who followed their parents. In the end you get a bunch of people of did something that maybe they couldn't do or ended up not liking what they chose to do. Sometimes if it works out for them, following a friend might've been a good choice.

When it doesn't you have a person who goes into the old mentality. They work, unhappy with what they do and hence unmotivated. Start a family and stay motivated for a while, then lose steam, take it out on their family and the end product is one unhappy, broken and broke family with nothing. Or sometimes they find everything but real happiness. Trust me, I know more than my share of those types. Sometimes not rushing off to University after you're done with college might be a good thing. Taking some time off to move around and try some jobs out, might be a good way to find out what you want. Also, you earn some spare cash =)

Think about it.

Harold

Fragile

2005-10-19T01:05:00.000-07:00

Only a few hours have passed since a friend of a few friends of mine had passed away. Grief no doubt has come over them. One friend in particular, whom I care a lot for, happens to be really close to the person who passed on. Somehow at times like these, you really are at a loss for words. I don't even know who this person is, but somehow I feel a tinge of the grief. I found out the person who passed on had a boyfriend in the UK. Words...and actions will not be able to explain the way he must feel.

And here I am. Unable to offer any words of real comfort, any semblance of real concern because all I am at the moment is a MSN Messenger window merely having a conversation with her over life and religion. Whenever tragedy strikes we are reminded of how fucking helpless we all really are when we can't control a situation and just how fragile the life we take for granted really is. The worst thing is, we'll feel it all now and as time passes, we take it for granted again. It seems tragedy is the only way we can be reminded as harsh as it may be.

I really can't say much about having lost someone close like this. Sure, I've seen aunties and uncles go before their time, but someone dying way before that...just seems thoroughly unfair. Or is it? The world at the moment, seems doomed. I can't help but feel that an end really is coming. A lot sooner than I'd first thought. Avian flu and who knows what the hell else are on the loose. The tsunami, Hurricane Katrina the earthquake in Pakistan and only an hour ago, a strong earthquake in Japan. I mean...ok, earthquakes happen a lot in Japan and shit, but what about the rest. Could it be that something is really going down? Going like this might actually be a blessing in contrast to suffering through the agony of dying by starvation and having to watch your family get swept away.

Shockingly enough, somewhere last year, a follower of the Sukyo Mahikari religion, told me all this was going to happen. Apparently we're in the Period of Fire...if I remember right. Where the 'Sun Gods' are unleashed and will wreak havoc upon the earth. I know there are skeptics out there, but even if you don't believe, I hope you acknowledge the religion. Apparently there is much else to follow. If it is not God's (assuming he's out there...I feel he's there) reminders to us, I'm not sure how much more of a message he's gonna have to send before we pay attention.

As the US goes to other countries and wreaks havoc against the helpless, it seems kind of fitting that the roles be reversed and well...quite literally, the tide turned on them. Sure, one might ask why the innocents are the ones that keep getting hurt...well, at the moment it seems that the guilty have better access to helicopters and emergency escape services. But everyone has their time.

With all this tragedy surrounding us...as cliche as it might sound, I feel everyone should make sure every day that the people they love, know they love them. You don't want to be caught in a situation where you had a fight with your loved one(s) in the morning and were waiting to get back home to say sorry or whatever, but now find yourself stuck on the 90th floor of the WTC or on a plane that's about to crash into it. Regret is pointless. It's always too little too late for us. Somehow we only truly appreciate what we’ve got when it's been taken away and can never be had again. But time makes us forget it all only for something else to be taken away again. It's a vicious cycle to be caught in. But we are vicious beings aren't we?

To the girl who's passed on so peacefully. I've never met you before, and I never will. But my prayers are with you all the way. It might be meaningless, but they are all I have to give. You are remembered and loved by many close friends. Your life has been a blessed one.

Harold

Another Overdue Post

2005-10-07T20:44:00.000-07:00

Wassup people!

My blog flops along like a fish on dry land...barely alive. I just haven't been feeling it in me to blog and update and shit. But well, enough has happened between the last post and now that warrants a lil something from me.

The most pressing matter at hand is that my AS exams begin next week. Some parental expectation placed on me for it and a potential incentive riding on it as well. Besides, fucking this up means 2 things. No hope of any good grades next year and the shame of having to languish in SAM or CPU maybe next year...hehehehe, just playin, mostly the first part.

But anyway, you get what you put in, and people get what they deserve right? Kid Rock is a wise man. But anyway, on a lil more fun note, very recently I had a very, very fun church camp. Except this time, there was a twist. It wasn't just my age group involved. In fact, I just happened to be one of only 2 17 year olds there...the youngest. But it was cool. It wasn't one of those bring a bible and mull over it whilst you speak in tongues kind of camp...then again we Catholics not so hardcorelah. It was all about playing all kinds of conventional games a lil' different. Like football tied to someone else...captain ball backwards and rubbish like that. Basically they try giving you some kind of handicap just to make the game a lil bit more challenging and see how you cope with them. Some farts got darn sorelah of course. There were loads of all those "think outside the box you wankers" type of games also of course. Like flipping over a mat with 10 people standing on it. The solution as always, will just kill you if you've been thinking in the box.

But well, the thing I miss the most about the camp right now, was my team. In almost typical tradition, the clan name, was Alpha Q. I tell you, everywhere you go, people love that name man. Geez...and throughout the games, we never really had an official leader and all. But of course, someone has to do something about that right? And so there I was, the lil' chump who kept taking charge of almost every situation. Call me power crazy, but you can't argue with the end result. We finished top overall on points of all the groups and I got quite a few messages from my teammates and other team members congratulating me on my would be leadership skills. I tell you, before any of that leadership skills comes to play, the team members you have to work with comes to play.

In the A Level Student Council, there are the lone few of us that make up a better part of the overall workload. There are obviously some farks who will do shit...or fuck up when you give them some simple work to do...and later when the teacher asks them why they ain't doing shit, they'll say it's coz I don't give them shit to do. See, thing is, whenever there is shit to do, I either select who does it very carefully or just do it myself. Coz if it gets fucked up, then my ass is the one on the line more than theirs. If this was a pro-profit organization, I'd have fired about 5 people right now for being redundant already. And that's the part which makes me appreciate the lone few...especially the new batch of June 05 intake students who've helped form little prom committees which look likely to make this prom that's coming up to clear the blardy Holiday Villa deposit and all that shit. But the thing is, this time around, I'm actually motivated to work for it. Coz if I shit up, my prom might be there. But really, this time, I believe what we have in store, with a change of ballroom and all will be a better package.

I actually loathe my Student Council teacher. But really, it's just the lazy arse in me that feels that way. Every time I open my gmail account, there'll be some mail there from her pressing me for some thing that needs doing. But where the loathe ends, the respect begins. If it wasn't for her really, shit wouldn't be done by now. She's the one who shoves you in the right direction basically...only thing is, she does it too often sometimes...but enough about that.

Back to the thing about having a good team...I can get side tracked whilst blogging too. WTF? Anyways, the people I had in my team...were all, except for 1 of em (so nothing is perfect), willing to work for each other to win. I've actually made a few good friends from the bunch in my team...and well...kind of fallen for 1 of em...but certain circumstances do not permit further pursuit of this matter till well...these circumstances change. And just in case you were wondering if it is just a random crush, believe me it isn't. Coz I didn't just meet her at the camp. I've known her for about 2 years already and well...it's been coming for a while. Basically, those who know the full story know what I'm talking about. Anyway, back to the story, it's when you work with a bunch of shitbags on a daily basis, that you appreciate the ones that actually do work with you.

Just got an e-mail from Chau Sean...one of the fine people I have had the pleasure of working with over the past few years. One of those people you could trust to get the job done. The more work you do, the more you realise this type of people are rare. And yes, well I do miss some of the people I've already gone separate ways with, but I'm also kickin and livin it up with the new people I've found around. But yes, well, some people you know you won't leave behind. Phang Kit, Alex, Yuen and Pheebs<-------(OMG?!? YOU BETTER FUCKIN BELIEVE IT) I'm always one for meeting new people, but familiar faces are good sometimes. If my dream of studying in Canada happens, I wouldn't be surprised to find that I'm alone there. I think it's gonna make me miss the chums I've got right now back here. I suppose, as always, we will go on to find more new people to make friends with. But well, friends are not interchangeable and replaceable. No one else other than the individual you know will be able to fill the role he or she plays so well in your life. Thank you so much for being around.

Randomly random,
Harold

p/s: I've just hopped about a whole bunch of topics haven't I? And a big thank you to Clan Alpha Q '05 (Tim, Leo, Carolyn, Debbie, Angie, Shereen, Gordon and Deepak)

Little Lessons in Life

2005-09-07T19:36:00.000-07:00

Hey, been a while since I last posted eh? Well...not much has changed since the last post but rather I've just not felt inspired to post. And I won't post just because I haven't done so in a while. I tried that yesterday but I ended up scrapping about 500 words of post coz I didn't feel like I connected with it.

Well, the inspiration came today. Just like a post a while ago, it was inspired by a movie. Big Fish. Please, any of you who enjoys a brilliantly done movie with plenty of lessons. Just like Forrest Gump, it offers lessons you've got to make out yourself by the lil' fables it tells offers. And then it got me thinking about some things on my own.

Those of you who watch it might perceive things a lil' differently as well as maybe find some I missed out on.

At one point, Edward Bloom (Ewan McGregor) takes a road that is barren just because he wants to see what's on the other side. The road less taken is usually exposed to more of a natural progression as well as being plenty more testing. However it may be shorter. As he says, the more testing something is, the more the end product seems more worthwhile. At the end of it he finds himself in a pretty lil' town called Spectre. Those who're willing to try different things oft find rewards at the end of it...or a slow painful death. But that's another story.

At the town of Spectre, it truly seems to be paradise. The people are nice, the grass is green and the food is great. But he leaves anyway. The first person to leave. Because he feels it's more of a place to retire...because he thinks there's more to life. His shoes however are gone as a little girl takes them and throws them up on a line which is way too high up for him. He leaves without his shoes anyway...despite the fact walking that way would hurt. Leaving often hurts but it might be worth it. We shouldn't believe we've found the best of everything when we haven't even seen everything yet. He goes on to find the woman he loves after he leaves the town.

The woman he loves however is engaged already...but he shows how his undying devotion to her and wins her over. True, it's sort of getting whipped...but somehow when you meet the one you love it'll seem worth it.

Some other lessons from the movie which would be too long for me to keep going on about I've also thought of about myself.

Very often, we're only as big or as good as we let ourselves be. I won't deny some people are more gifted than others at certain things. But very often, we just lack to the confidence to try out things. And this lack of confidence makes us more error prone when we are actually forced to do these things. Further denting the fragile confidence he or she has and making the situation worse. Like speaking in public for the painfully shy. As much as it might've been previous errors which caused the initial self doubt, the unwillingess to make mistakes and learn from them only allow the situation to remain or deteriorate.

A lot of times, we talk about the lack of any luck or bad luck. Really, luck is the intersection between preparation and opportunity. If you're not prepared and able, all the opportunities put before you will come to nothing. But most people are prepared just not given an opportunity to make their preparation worthwhile. This is usually the case, because we expect opportunity to fully land on our laps. If it does, we're "lucky" and if it doesn't then we're "unlucky". Luck should be seen as the element which allows for the fullest utilization of an opportunity. If an opportunity doesn't come along, make one. Even if you can make yourself 1/2 a chance, it's better than betting on one to come along.

Very often, when people wait for things to happen, it never happens at all. And people die still wondering what went wrong. Sometimes things don't happen because no one got the gears moving in the first place. This is when people are prepared and able to do something, have the luck, the opportunity, but the lack of effort to make it all count. Laziness in other words. Something I am a victim of personally.

Some people are afraid to take risks in life for the fear of losing. People like this will be the ones happy to put their money in a bank where the interest rate is below the rate of inflation. Of course people who have families to worry about might be excused, but they're not the only ones who're victims of this problem. In a financial sense, risk in a course of action is merely venture. The more venture, the more profit in store. It's how hungry you are for it. And sometimes wandering about a new place where you're hopelessly lost is made worse by darkness. Every undertaking is made worse by a lack of knowledge. Further adding to the risk. Hence proper preparation is always necessary. It's why people who invest in the stock market for the first time and lose heavily blame it on bad luck.

And very often, we miss out on the simple beauties in life because we take things for granted. Being alive itself is a blessing in it's own way. Some may argue against it...but it really depends on what you make of life and how you chose to experience it. Why is it possible for a poor man to smile but for a rich man to feel empty inside. It's because the poor man cherishes everything he has and looks out for the lil' joys in things he experiences daily. Including the hardships. Whereas the rich man takes things for granted and loses the joy of living. It's like a cold cup of Gatorade after sports on a sunny day, a hug from the one you love after a tough day at work or the first breath of air after holding your breath for 2 minutes. There is a little lesson to be learnt or something/someone to be appreciated from all that happens.

But we are ungrateful people. We bitch about how hot it is whilst walking around town...when the bed-ridden would gladly switch places with you. We complain about the slow waitress at our local diner when it might just be that she hasn't had much sleep coz when she goes home she has 3 kids to take care off and an alcoholic chimp on the couch to feed. It is merely human to do so isn't it? We're never satisfied with what we've got. But there's a positive way of channelling the lack of satisfaction. To work harder. To achieve more in life. Preachy ain't it? But it's much better than wasting your time complaining.

Cherish the hazy air you breathe. Be thankful for that nagging mother you've got. But never put up with a constantly bitching and useless girlfriend or boyfriend. Spouse maybe, coz divorces are messy, but not while you're dating. Leaving hurts right? But it might be worth it ;)

Well, that's all I've got to say for now. I shall go back to going against all the things I've just said...but it's the holidays-lah!

Cheers!

Harold

~Dear Dad~

2005-08-17T18:34:00.000-07:00

I'd just got back home today, and my mum was asking me about how good the new AV-Receiver we got in the house was. She then proceeded to point out to me that my dad has only just gotten back into the whole Hi-fi craze again. I guess this is in large part due to the fact my dad has an eager new protege to follow him around...me. I've been bitten by the bug as well, all of about a year ago. And then I said, the only reason he's been out of touch all this while has been well, financial issues. See, with my bro and sis both having an overseas education at almost the same time, money became quite an issue at home. I remember seeing my dad looking strained and tired from a day's work, but the weird thing is, he hardly ever shows it. And then...I realised, that well, I'm a lot like him. We swallow pressure and stress whole and we keep a cool calm exterior even though everything seems to be going wrong at the same time.

And my mum then proceeded further to point out that the only thing that my dad really bought for himself were DVD movies...fact is, I chose most of the movies anyway. She's said this to me a few times...and every time she does I find me fighting back tears. She however finds it a bit hard to do the same...but she being a she, it's expected.

So my mum went on to tell me how way before I was born, my dad actually used to be the favourite son-in-law of my Grandma. And that say's something. The only skinny China-man in an all Indian household. And my dad has always been one of the most charitable chums of all time. He's actually the most financially well off of the son-in-laws but he isn't blindingly rich either but it's the heart that counts here. I carry myself with an emotionless exterior...but I can honestly say that I would genuinely cry my eyes out for my dad. It's not to say I wouldn't do the same for my mum, but my dad...is just...different. The things I do and say barely reflect the way I feel about my dad. But he truly is...the biggest and greatest influence in my life. Those who're really close to me, know how he is aside from being my dad, a teacher (a tough one at that), an example of a simple life and most of all, a best friend. Truly.

Every time I think about the sacrifices my old man makes the family...I really have to fight hard to keep it all in. I failed once. When my dad told me one night about how the stress was getting to him...and how he contemplated suicide. I cried. Like never before. I lay in my bed alone and wept...all night long. Terribly un-Harold right? But in the back of my mind I know he'll never commit suicide. Simply because he can't leave behind the family he loves so much. In particular my mum. I have no doubt, no matter how much he denies it, he loves my mum more than life itself. Such devotion becomes even more meaningful when you see the amount of divorces and domestic violence these days. We wonder if we'll be able to do the same when our time comes. I guess it has something to do with my mum sticking with my dad despite the amount of problems she used to get from my in-laws in times past. Meant to belah.

I used to resent the fact that no matter how hard I tried to do something, it'd never be enough for my dad. There was always the comparison to someone who could do it better. But just as I was about to give up he'd always come in and reassure me that I've done him proud. His acceptance is enough to drive me on and become better. I try to do him proud all the time (except in school, it's my intrinsic laziness...but even then I always give my all at the end, which is not bad either) because it's the only way I can repay him for all he's given me. And it dawns on me, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I'll never be able to make it up to him. We all try to live all for ourselves, but to do so would be just plain ungrateful to those who've given us so much. You only have the right to do so if you raised yourself and done everything in your life all your own...or if you've no one left to be thankful to.

I know how much my dad likes spending time with me. He'll bug me and insist I follow him around. Or he'll just make something up to take me out with him, even if he thinks it's gonna cost him money...and it normally does. He'll wake me up to watch football with him. He's pretty fair to all of the kids...but I've always had a lil' bit more with him coz I'm the youngest child and we rarely have issues. Always the case.

My mum always hopes that when she's gone and if my dad is still around, that we'll look after him. I think now I realise, I'd rather put his happiness ahead of mine. Because the happiness I should have later in life, is owed in no small part to him. Karma it is. I believe in it. A pretty successful person I know once fired one of his top executives because he saw him being disrespectful to his parents. And what he told me is true. You will never be truly successful or happy if you don't respect your parents. I believe it's true. If you look at most of the truly successful people in the world, success being defined in each their own way, you will see how much they value their parents. There are the unscrupulous who make it all the way up but remain discontent and empty...and that's not what I want to be.

If I could even be 1/2 the husband, father and man my father is, I'd be pretty happy. Dr. Yap. That would be his official title, but he doesn't use it. He prefers Mr. Yap instead. Because that's just the way it is. He's humble. I never realised he was Dr. Yap till about a year or 2 ago when one of my uncles pointed it out to me. He has a flaring temper sometimes, but if you see the reason by the temper, it'll touch you further. He gets pissed when I fall below my expectations...not his. Because he sees wasted potential...and he wants more of me because he knows what I'm capable of. And I know he's quite a good judge of ability from the years I've watched him.

I've always said that when I leave the country to study overseas, I'll get along just fine over there and I won't miss anyone. Because, well, that's me. But I'm beginning to realise what my bro realised eventually. My dad told me that before my bro left the country, he used to intentionally have run ins with him just to make him feel like leaving home and not miss the family. And that worked, for a while. When my bro was there, he used to cry when he called back whenever he spoke to my dad. And one time he wrote a letter home. The most memorable line from the letter was "Everything I am today, is because of what you've made me". My sister wrote a letter back around the same time, with almost the same words.

And my bro faced the same things as me. The resentment of never being good enough and all that shit. Only to realise that my dad didn't do all this to make us feel lousy...but only because he wants more of us. I know a lot of people don't realise sometimes the value of the overprotective parents they have. I feel the same way. Always wanting more freedom. It's reached a point where I'm a mummy and daddy's boy. It's a hard pill to swallow...but when I've calmed down, it's one that slides down a lil' easier.

I get pissed when I lose control of my emotions. I get pissed when I fail myself. But I cry when I let my dad down. Really. All the people out there who's parents aren't financially free and living easy, remember that the No.1 reason that's the case, is you. It's because there are some risks and things your parents cannot do because there is the security of your sometimes ungrateful ass to look after. I know that's how it works where I come from at least. I know if I can make it big one day, I will make a nice room in my house with a kick ass Hi-fi system in it, just for my dad. I don't have to worry about him letting me in, coz he doesn't like doing this sorta stuff alone.

At the end of it, I told my mum that my dad is thoroughly capable of doing almost anything he wants. But he just won't if he doesn't have someone close to do it with. I will do my all to be that someone close for him. I really am at a loss of what to say, then again I've said a lot. Treasure your parents. You might only when it's way too late.

Rather tearfully,
Harold

A week and then some

2005-08-06T07:12:00.000-07:00

Hey, wassup people.

Haven't posted in a week or so, normally do so at least once. Somehow been feeling out of sorts about posting, when I first started off I was all fired up about it, but it seems to have tapered a lil bit.

See, the thing is, I don't wanna just post about what I did today, what I had for breakfast or how long I took in the bathroom. I do post about stuff that happens in my day, but only as a build up to a little bit more thoughtful thing. Maybe I just haven't been keeping my eyes peeled enough to look out for sometimes the simpler things in life. I suppose we all have to keep ourselves in check. We do overlook some of the more painfully obvious things in life.

I haven't exactly been having the easiest time in Maths class of late, but I swear I'll work on it and come back a lil better. I think a bit of the fundamental part of it was lost on me, but I'll work my way out of this rut. And sometimes I look at the questions so hard wondering what to do...only to find out later that the whole thing could've been worked out by noticing the painfully obvious indications.

It's like that in life as well. Sometimes we try too hard to figure out the solutions to our predicaments and conundrums...but fail to see that the answers to our questions are right before us. We all suffer awkward situations with people sometimes, wondering what to say to them. When maybe you really don't need to say anything to them at all. Sometimes all we really need to do, is listen.

I would strongly recommend to everyone, John Gray's Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Being the lazy sod I am, I d/led the audio tape and listened. It's a pretty old book, but I guess the lessons in it are rather timeless. All around us, we see women asking for equality. I can agree with some of it, truly, in some parts of the world or in some ways, women are terribly mistreated. But a lot of the feministic demands seem to have gotten blown out of proportion.

Men and women, are built differently. As much as that's stating the obvious, many of those championing either gender's rights to the ends of the world, really need to see that we have our roles in life. We are made differently and hence do our own parts. Ever notice how some women take common acts of a gentleman as being offensive? Like how pulling out a seat for someone can be seen as underestimating their ability? But somehow, when you don't...eventually you're seen as not being very nice. WTF?

Men are generally less sensitive and hence make lousier care providers, not to say they're incapable of doing so, but generally less adept at it. Women on the other hand are built less capable of handling high pressure situations. They do seem more emotional...not to say there aren't any pussies for guys out there. But really...what's the big deal? I'm not going to bother outlining all the tasks here, maybe some other time. Till then!

Harold
(Understanding man. Understanding women are encouraged to contact)

God is laughing at you!!!

2005-07-25T16:44:00.000-07:00

Ah, been a week or so since the last post. Keeping up with the religious climate, I've figured that we now take a look at a lil bit different view of God...assuming he exists. The different view being his sense of humour. Which by my count, has got to be relatively twisted.

Most of the people in our generation have probably played a game where they play God in some way. Be it The Sims in an indirect manner, or Black & White where plain and simple, you are God...with a budget of sorts.

Anyway, if all you did was play with the betterment of your denizens, then you must be some boring ass player. Everyone has their sadistic streaks right? Remember putting a Sim into a swimming pool and taking out the ladder which is the only way they can get out and they swam their way to a very watery grave...no pun intended. Or maybe putting them in 1 room with lots of beds and firing fire works inside so everything caught fire and your Sim got incinerated? Exactly what I'm talking about.

Some people draw loads of entertainment from screwing you over...like me! I love it, just ruining other people's shit once in a while, just for their reactions. And then, when it seems like you're offering them some respite, you take it away just like when you're holding a dogs bone a lil too high for him to reach. Shit...maybe if we are all made in God's image...the he's like us too!

God doesn't set fire to us like we do to the Sims...wait...there's still spontaneous combustion, but anyway, not so directly. Where's the fun in just burning someone up? There's just physical agony for like, 5 minutes...and it's gone! Now you gotta replace his ass. Gotta put someone else in the world, and wait another 30 years till he grows up to set him on fire again for full effect. So obviously, God's gonna wanna make that soul worth it. When you're done, he can take you to heaven and say...HAH! Had you didn't I?

But anyway, what I'm talking about are the lil things he does that're just so damn ironice. For instance, you've got all those married couples who want so badly to have kids. They try everything, in-vitro, viagra, test tube insemination, bomoh prayers and feng shui...but they get nothing! Just 2 tired individuals with no kids.

And then you have the other bunch of people...teenagers in particular. Who do their best to avoid conceiving a child. Take birth control pills on time, use a douche, wear rubber and even choose the right time of the month...and just the first time they do it...it works. The girl gets pregnant and the guy gets the fuck out of the state or country.

WHOA!!! You kidding me? They told me effort leads to success...it was wrong here. Maybe technique would help...wrong again. The one's who tried failed...and the ones who tried failed as well. You get what I'm saying? Both set out with different goals and both failed. One was trying to have a child...they failed. Another was trying to avoid it...they failed too. Talk about being screwed.

Anyway, on a more respectful note, God had me the other day too. When I was down in Singapore, I was supposed to go down to Novena church and get some stuff from the church bookshop for my aunt. The sky was clear when I walked in. Thought hey, just go in there, grab the stuff and leave. When I stepped out into the open and looked up, the sky was facking dark man. Thunderstorm sort of stuff. I was thinking...maybe if I make a run for it I could reach the MRT station...looking up at the sky, the first drop of rain fell on my forehead. And then the 2nd, 3rd...and then THUNDER!! And rain fell! Like 40 Days and 40 Nights kind of stuff y'know? Ok...time to go for mass. Right in time actually, to keep me there for mass. So I stayed for the Novena which was 30 minutes long...it started at 11am...same time as the rain. It ended at 1130am, exactly when the rain stopped too. I kid you not. As the priest ended the sermon, so the rain stopped too.

I was thinking...I know I haven't been to church in a while God...but you want me to stay there THAT bad?! Anyways, the rest of the trip was good and safe and all. I can't think of many more ironies of God...except that he has a habit of killing cool people at young ages as well. James Dean, Bruce Lee, Jimi Hendrix...why doesn't he ever kill peopel like GWB off or something...I'll take Osama anytime too. The more punks he leaves here on earth, the more he gets to see them screw up and screw the rest of us up too!

Y'know what, I sure as hell wouldn't mind being God...totally beats being the suckers we are now. We work so hard to build things up. Reputations, skyscrapers everything. Only to let some little thing take it all away...Maybe what we're supposed to realise is maybe God exists, but most importantly, regardless of what happens, when you lose in life, don't lose the lesson. <--------Thoroughly unrelated

Cheers!
Harold

Predestination or Choice?

2005-07-15T19:51:00.000-07:00

Here in lies one of life's biggest conundrums. Predestination or Choice? The single most driving question behind religion I might say and one that somewhat brings out religion's contradictions. Those of you, who do not feel like reading a very religion-questioning post, please stop here. I will be looking at this from a Christian standpoint a lot because it's the religion I know best.

The orthodox position in Christianity maintains both of the following:

-God is in charge both of history in general and of our lives. We are unable to come to know and serve him on our own. We are completely dependent upon his decision to save us, and his work in our lives to transform us.
-Humans make responsible decisions. We will be judged by God for how we respond to him, and how we deal with each other.

The hazy part of the first statement has to be 'in general'. Might it mean that basically where life takes us, or everything to do with our lives? As is said, we are completely dependent upon his decision to save us(why do I hear this so much?) and his work in our lives to transform us. Here comes the contradiction then. Every religion believes that it is the way to heaven and anything else will lead to hell or wherever it is you burn and suffer for an eternity.

We generally are made to accept that God made all of mankind. And he has predestination for all of us. Consequentially, this means that God created Christians, Muslims, Buddhist, Taoist, Jewish, Harold worshippers(has no ties with the church of Satan) and everything in between including atheist. Yet somehow, only Christians are welcome to the kingdom of heaven? Christians make up about maybe a quarter of the people in the world...so that's about 4.5 billion people at my estimate that are gonna be left to burn in hell?

So this all loving, all knowing God we know has actually left 3/4 of humanity to burn and left it to the Christians alone to 'SAVE' em all? Mission work has always been the way things have been done...or the failed crusades which resulted in even less Christians...then again, those guys were better off dead. So much for an Invincible Army of God. If you ask me, God's army is made of one where everyone can be tolerant of one another and is willing to work to each other's best to enrich everybody else's life. Impressing your religious views on another individual.

However, this little bit is still not over yet. Being Christian alone is not enough to get to heaven. You've got to be a full proper by the book Christian at that. And the thing is, we've already been predestined to become Christian...yet some if not most of us will also falter and be sent to burn in hell...or maybe God might cut some of us some slack and send us to purgatory. If our lives are predestined, then the choices we make in life have already been set out in stone for us. Meaning there will be those who make it and the rest who haven't got a rat's ass chance of getting to heaven.

Some may argue that predestination only encompasses the final end for our souls. That's quite bad as it is right? But I further question this. Imagine our life as a journey. With our final destination being heaven/hell/purgatory(Catholics only). The path we take forks at some point or another...these forks in the road being choices. It is possible that maybe more than one route leads to each of these final destinations. More than one combination of choices can lead us there. However, if predestination applies, it means, we will DEFINITELY choose one of the paths...be it the right one or the wrong one. And this will happen again and again till we finally reach either heaven or hell...so we have choices, but they've been made up for us already. Is there really choice then?

Some might argue that we live in a fallen world where evil is strong and highly influential. But was this not meant to be by God himself as well? Was he all powerful and the creator of all, not also the creator of evil? Good and evil are both relative. They are identified by comparison. You get the picture? And there're always the Good choices and the Evil choices. Sadly for us, the choice we choose has been made already.

Anyways, I think I've blasphemed enough for day. Cheers

Good Catholic Boy,
Harold

More than me, more than you

2005-07-09T16:52:00.000-07:00

If any of you people out there have got some free time and feel like watching a seriously good serious movie, please look no further. Hotel Rwanda is the movie you're looking for. For those of you guys who know about and/or give a shit about the Rwandan Genocide which occurred in 1994, this is the movie to watch. For those who need some reassurance that there still are a few good men in this world, this is also the movie to watch. This is very much based upon a true story

*Warning: Potential spoilers ahead*

The acting in this movie is nothing short brilliant. Don Cheadle plays the protagonist, Paul Rusasabagena. Essentially, it's as the tagline goes: When the world closed its eyes, he opened his arms. Paul starts of being someone who only cares about his family but ends up saving about another 1280 ++ people more. The positives you draw from this show are that there are still people who care about more than themselves...Even going so far as to care for strangers. The rather happy ending of the movie tends to somewhat mask the other horror of the atrocities committed at that time.

The negatives however, are that for the one man who gave a shit about the welfare of another 1280 plus people, there're about another few thousand who cared for none other than themselves and their belief that eradicating an entire race was their revenge for history. And also, the power of bribery (a lil' ass kissin' along the way saves a lot of lives in this show though, contacts help ;-)

Well, enough about the story and all that and moving on to the lesson. It is inevitable isn't it? Money is power these days. The more we have the more we are? See, the problem these days is that too many people spend too much money, buying too many things they can't afford in trying to impress too many people they don't like. The hours we work get longer, our patience gets shorter. Materialism has cost us quite a bit hasn't it? But most of all, we've mostly become ruthless in the pursuit for profits. A lot of the time these days, when people help, it's all about what's in it for them? Everyone is trying to get ahead. Everyone is in a rush.

No one's saying that a lil' bit of friendly competition isn't healthy. Hell, it's encouraged. But ruthless backstabbing, and the harming of the innocent? It's all become ok. The ends justify the means these days...or do they? Does killing innocents all over the world show power? Control? Influence? Food for thought to all the nations of the world.

Up to this point, the death toll in the recent London bombings stands at below 100. Sure, it doesn't sound too bad in comparison to the 3000 over that died on 9/11 does it? Even the 1,000,000 who died in the Rwandan Genocide...we know so little about it. A lot of us remain largely detached from it, simply because none of us got hurt and no one we knew/cared about got hurt either. That's how we humans are most times. The Western world turned a blind eye to Rwanda during the genocide because they meant so little to the west. No economic or political gain. There was essentially nothing in it for them. No favour to be earned.

Admittedly, I've been that way a lot too. I do help once in a while but always a lil' of me seems to be thinking...what's in this for me? Maybe I don't empathize much with the sufferings of the world because I've been very little a victim of it myself...but I guess maybe I should change. We should all try to help selflessly. The speech transcript on Tian Ping's blog offers you some food for thought as well about being grateful for what you've got. For those who missed it, you'll find it at http://www.marginalia.org/dfw_kenyon_commencement.html . Give a read if you've got the time coz its long and keep your mind and soul open.

Y'know what...keep your mind and soul open all the time, there's lessons to be learned everywhere and from everything. It'll make us all better people and make this world a better place.

Your's to be of help when possible,
Harold
(Trying to be selfless)
P/s: This some real sensitive sentimental stuff....sniff*

People you can't replace

2005-07-03T04:21:00.000-07:00

Ah, pretty decent weekend. Went over to Kang's place just to meet up and chill out with Kang, TP, PK, Pheebs and HY. Got there a lil' late coz I went out for an Indian Vegetarian lunch with Kuok Yuen. And then we went to meet someone who...by the way I see it, didn't wanna see us too much. Maybe she was just peeved that we were there, but there was discontent in her eyes that saddened me. I personally believe I read people pretty ok...not perfectly right all the time, but I'm working on it. Funny how I still give a shit about her when it's obvious she doesn't about me. But anyway...this combined with the recent trip to Singapore I had which I managed to catch up with Chau Sean on...brings me to the title of this post...people you can't replace.

I've met lots of people in my life, hell, I've met so many there're quite a few who come up to me and ask me wassup and all...but I can't remember who they are...It sucks when that happens...but well...I've got a lousy memory.

But well, almost all the people who I'll never forget in life, I've mentioned above already. These are people you can't replace. There're still a few more like David, Charles, Suan Aik, Kah Fai, Alex, Jonny and then a few more...but those who are the ones I'll never forget would know themselves.

Simply because an indelible mark has been left upon me by these people. To profile all these people fully here would be impossible, simply because these people have been through and have given me in some little way or another, just too much to say here....some more than others ;-) Collectively, these are some of the people who I believe regardless of their present shortcomings will go on to live very successful and fulfilled lives...and maybe because of their influence on me as well...I hope to be able to do the same.

These people are the ones I can spend hours just hanging with and talking nonsense with..or having deep meaningful conversations with as well. Some participate more than others, but well...that's how things are. I've always been the type who's considered things through more than one perspective, whether I say it out is another thing. But when I miss them(perspectives) sometimes, having my chums around helps me see them.

To the ones who made this weekend great fun, thank you. Along with the ones who weren't here to spend the time with us, thank you...you've made this life here a better one. Even when I seem like an irreverent twat sometimes and though we may go separate ways, you will forever be remembered and appreciated.

*For the names I might've missed...err...sorry man/woman. For those who want to make the list, please be nice to me and give me money for no apparent reason. Cheers!

Btw, for those who have the time, please go to Tian Ping's blog(on my links) and read the speech transcripts he's got there. No shit, it can/will change your life

WTF? 6 Months just flew by me

2005-06-30T02:51:00.000-07:00

When I think back upon primary school life, I mean, the 6 years spent there were pretty slow. Especially since in a whole form there was like 30 of us. Of course, seeing the same sods everyday can't be much fun. So secondary school was a breath of fresh air, with about 45 of us in a class every year...let's not forget there are at least 15 classes in each form of about equal proportions. Form 1 was pretty ok, Form 2 SUCKED!! Form 3 was good fun...all the pre-PMR ponteng school cafe and street soccer was cool. Form 4 and Form 5 were as good if not better than Form 3. Its when I really found the real friends in my life. Time really does seem to pass faster when you're having fun. The days and the months in the last 3 years of high school passed quickly...but the double Physics lessons passed exceptionally slowly.
Come college. Going to the same college as your bro and sis does have its perks...namely the RM500 sibling discount. I knew that I was going to be in the same class of about 5 CHS fellas and a whole bunch of fellas. Little did I know the whole class would bond at such a blitzing pace. How often do you find a class which plays futsal with almost everyone there in the 1st week anyway? I thought the 4S4/5S4 class was a colourful one. But honestly, they had nothing on 0501PE2. We've got the whole range from the quite studious types all the way to lazy arses (e.g. me). The most sedate and the most zany. But thing is, everyone is actually pretty darn bright! Though the most recent college exams are hardly a reflection of this, I maintain my opinion.
Now I looked at the date today and...hang on...6 months have gone by me. I've made fast friends, learnt how to play pool, foosball, futsal and frisbee better, become student council president and get the prom cancelled? I mean, we're already 1/3 of our way through college. LIKE WHOA!! TIME IS FLYING BY! Soon enough our A2 exams will be here and even sooner still our AS exams (which reminds me...I should get crackin' at it) and then everyone will be going seperate ways. I'm actually pretty saddened by this...In these past 6 months I've met great people who I believe will go on to even greater things in life and I've honestly enjoyed their company. And let's not forget the people who aren't in my class who I've become good chums with. Perhaps some of us will be going the same way but it really won't be the same anymore will it?
It really sucks when perhaps the best part of my life as a student thus far is only going to last less than a year more. But well, better to be thankful for what I've got than bitching about what I might have to say goodbye to right? Maybe university will be better, I don't know...but all I can say is, thank you to the guys who've made college up to this point, the best time in my life....thus far =)

Harold(A rather more emo post)

Back to KL!

2005-06-26T17:16:00.000-07:00

Wassup people!

Just got back around 8am this morning from Singapore. Very succinctly, I left on Thursday night at around 1030pm. The blardy train we took like facking stopped at every rural got damn station on the way to Singapore. I thought we were going to have some direct train. But well, no real difference coz we didn't get any sleep at all...at least Jian Sheng and myself. The term talking cock was made for conversations like those I had with the gang...it describes the conversationlah, not what the conversation was about! Anyways, a big thank you to Suan Aik, Yi Perng, Ronald, Shou Jun and Jian Sheng for making the trip awesome. Didn't spend to much time with them though...was mostly on my own.

Well, anyone who is going down to Singapore on a budget, please take a look at the Hangout Hotel! Its awesome! For about S$35/night you get basic lodging, down in the cafeteria you have a huge Plasma tv, pretty good food for breakfast (others you paylah), PCs with broadband to use and another Plasma tv to watch movies as well as a pool table in the lounge upstairs. But what I loved the most was the 7th floor of the building. The place called Look Out. You get a nice view of the Singapore skyline there. They have these very Bali style deck chairs, a fountain and the lighting there is good too. Made me wish I'd brought a certain someone there =) And because this place is situated on Mt. Emily, the air is fresh and a bit cold. Which is good! Really worth it!

Day 1: Well, we rolled out of Keppel Station at around 8 or 9 something and rushed down to the hotel to watch the NBA Finals Game 7! Great facking game! I watched till like half time and they were tied man all the way. Like it was scripted or something. But because I was going to watch the PESA competition at YMCA(Cue...Village People) where CS was going to be a contestant, I thought, well, must be a bit of a walk to Dhoby Ghaut station from our place which I'd seen on the way. So i left at around 1020am. WTF! I reached the station at 1040am! I sat my ass there for 1 hour before CS came...thank God for my Palm and BLOCKS!! Met him, went for the speech competition where he came in 1st runner up(kudos Chink! now you know, gotta praise Singapore so sweetly till you fall into a diabetic coma to win!) But good stuff all around. Unfortunately I didn't get the contact number/e-mail of one of the contestants. 1/2 Chinese, 1/2 British girl. Good as a prepared speaker, but crap as an Impromptu speaker . But who cares! She was hot...cept she had real skinny legs...but nvmlah, nothing's perfect right? Met Rebecca also. Damn Cili Padi type of girl. Not bad looking, dating another nice InChi(ChIndian other way round) fella. After that I spent the rest of the day till 8pm with CS, catching up and more Cock Talk at Lucky Plaza where earphone prices fluctuate between shops than the exchange rate of Swiss Francs over 2 days. Got my earphones there, good stuff! But really...spending the time with CS made me realise how some people are just irreplaceable...damn gay right? But its true! You's cool man. Went back, watched some Chapelle Show with the other 5 dudes and drank a Beer! I knew I had to get going early on my own the next day, so I slept around 12am.

Day 2: Up and about at 830am for me. Got my shit packed, went down had breakfast at Pig Out(the cafeteria at Hang Out...how apt) Left for Novena church at around 930am and was there till 1130 coz I stayed for mass...even away from home, I'm just a good Catholic boy. Then around Singapore I went looking for frisbees. Everyone either was sold out, or sold 165g discs which are unacceptable and the one shop that stocked them was under renovation. WTF? Then I was down in Queensway to check alsolah. Also takde. My last stop before the train station was to Rachel's place down in East Coast. For some odd reason, i figured I'd leave Queensway at 230pm. It was a masterstroke! Coz the direct bus ride took like 2 and a half hours dammit! I ask the bus driver for directions to the place, he also blur blur. But got there at 5 when I had planned to meet her. CD-R deliverylah, and must collect cash. Met her at the PESA competition but well, spoke to her a bit only. Ended up going biking around her area, she on blades. Went to the beach area there which is really nice. For such a facking densely populated country, area is better maintained and the air fresher. I guess small area to maintain for the government plus less non-civic minded twats around. Nice girl all round. Intelligent, outspoken and not too bad looking. All we did was have a drink, bike and talk OK?! Played frisbee with some of the fellas on the beach also. Quite style also the way they throw. But useless in Ultimate I'm sure. Thanks for the great time Rach! Then off to the train station and back to KL. Thats itlah. Take care all my chums!

Things I liked about Singapore : 1) Nice fresh air...for a city at least!
2) Nice parks, well maintained
3) Cheap electronic gadgets
4) Decent looking intelligent, sporting girls!
5) Pretty decent beach
6) Good public transportation network
7) Mostly civic minded people. Nice to pedestrians.
8) Good CDs a plenty at HMV and Gramophone

Things I didn't like so much : 1) The RM2.28 to S$1 exchange rate!
2) Taxes! Facking 10% VAT, 5% GST 1% CESS
3) The nice girls I met 2 out of 3 actually Malaysian
4) Singaporean girls are usually damn high maintainence
5) Almost all the shit there damn upmarket
6) The EXCHANGE RATE AGAIN!

Life ain't too bad I'd say over there =)
Welcome back to KL Ying! See you soon!

An Unprecedented Arrival

2005-06-22T01:36:00.000-07:00

And at last, Harold arrives on the blogging block. I realised that maybe I do have lots of things to say and it would be worth it to let the world hear it. Also, because of my innate tendency for saying controversial things and inciting random acts of violence, I have a feeling that doing this will make me more friends, fans as well as maybe enemies. Which, God willing will make life even more interesting, hence leading to more posts here! Reflecting on the things I tell people and stuff I say, I think maybe I have a lifestyle a little bit more interesting than most. On this blog, identities will be hidden as little as possible as reputations and egos are slaughtered! Everything from politics, religion to sexuality will be given Harold-twisted reviews as they always are. Could this be a start of something magnificent? Most likely.

Those who even have to wonder what I mean by my blog address, are better of not knowing why I chose it. I will be in Singapore from Thursday night till Sunday morning. So till then, Cheers!

IN OOOOOOKLAHOOOMA!

~MAYhem~

April's post!

~Not Much in March~

Life's iterations and recursions

New Year

Strange sights

~*HOLY!!*~

*~In Snoooowklahoma!~*

~Nearly a month~

~~~Words for lunch~~

~~~Harold's Men~~~

~~~The only picture~~~

Random Shit

~~1 Month On~~

~~~In OOOOOOOOOOOOOOKLAHOOOOOOMA!~~~

*~*What If?*~*

~~~The time gone by~~~

~~~D'ooooh!~~~

~~Impractical~~

~~~A Few Good People. A Few Tough Calls. Everything It Takes to Make A Difference~~~

~~~~2005 Review~~~~

~~~Love~~~

~~Where do we go from here?~~

~~~~Fragile~~~~

***Another Overdue Post***

~~Little Lessons in Life~~

*~Dear Dad~*

~~A week and then some~~